Was effectively kicked out of college last week. Long story short: There's no way I could have got the work done in time since I found out on Monday that the deadline was Wednesday and early hours of Saturday morning was the earliest time I could have even been close to having it ready.
Still having nightmares every night. Keep dreaming about my family. About things going wrong at work. About things going wrong in general. My sleeping is terrible at night and I'm finding myself virtually...

I'm laying on my bed feeling awful. I'm totally stuffed up. I keep coughing and sneezing and it's making me feel sick. All this is making my head hurt and I just want to cry. I hate being sick!
Someone send me hugs and make me feel better? Please?

Not having access to the internet has given me a lot to think about. I can't just distract myself with random things to read and learn about and watch.
It's made me think a lot about a girl I used to be friends with. She used to get angry with me for the smallest things, but she never told me. She just froze me out. She once stopped talking to me altogether for two weeks without telling me why. Every single time we had an argument I went crawling back, crying and apologising and coming up...

...

...

I'm watching Finding Nemo.

"A boat? Hey I've seen a boat! It passed by here not too long ago! ... Hi! I'm Dory."



Also. My arm freaking hurts. Sucks.

Oh. And this makes me laugh.

Have placement today. Tired. Just spent the last ten minutes picking drops of dried blood off my arm. Cut 'DIE' into it last night. Still hurts. I hurt. Don't want to deal with this. So many nightmares. Keep dreaming that someone wants to get me. First time it was Voldemort, second time it was some bloke called Fred who had a sister called Stacey. Except he was black and his sister was white. Might sound funny but in both dreams these people wanted me dead. They were hunting me

...

I keep having nightmares about my family. Friday night I dreamt I was at a family dinner when my dad's sister came up behind me and whispered that unless I told the family everything, she would. It'd be worse that way. I said something back to her that made perfect sense at the time but I don't even remember it now. I just know it was my way of standing up to her and saying "Hell no, you're not doing this to me again."
It still really scared me and I knew that what she wanted me

...