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What's with the judgement?!
Posted July 8th 2010 at 01:48 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I was kind of looking forward to one last visit to my old school to see my friends after the summer before I start college. Now I'm not sure I'm even going to go.
I never really considered the possibility that someone I cared about could actually judge me. I was having one of those random comment-conversations with a friend Scott last night. In it I mentioned that I had an almost-half-girlfriend (SO complicated at the moment, we're trying to work it out) and he said that wasn't possible because he was a dude (hoping I'd accept it and call him my boyfriend
but then the girl I was talking about came and 'claimed' me, I guess. Just saying I was hers, or would be as soon as we worked things out. And I was okay with that. But he wasn't.He sent me a message saying 'So what, have you gone Lesbian all of a sudden?'
I tried explaining that there was an area between being gay and straight and that it wasn't sudden. My internet cut out then but this morning there was a message saying. 'Oh. So how long then?'
Maybe I'm just picking up on it wrong but he just does not seem at all happy. I never thought of him as the kind of person to judge based on that. He's that creepy-in-a-funny-way friend who asks for pictures when me and my other friend Ellie go out to Glasgow or to the cinema.
He's really a nice guy and very world-weary for a 14 year old but he's a good friend. Except now it feels like he doesn't really want to be my friend so much now.
I mean, either that or he's jealous? Him and another guy in his year are both my friends and they used to literally fight over who got to hug me first. (While they were pushing each other out the way, my OTHER friend who's 13 would usually come and hug me before they could
)He is a very *typical* guy so I guess he could be. But I don't know. I don't know what's worse.
I go back to school for an hour or so to see them and he's even more protective of me than he was before, or he just doesn't talk to me or come near me at all.
At least now I know it's best not to tell friends about things like that.
Because honestly, that hurt.
Hmph.
Apologies. Rant over.
For now.
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