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Hm. (trig)

Posted April 10th 2011 at 12:26 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I don't know what's going through my head most of the time.

I'm scared to tell people how I'm feeling because their problems are so much worse than my supposed ones. I don't want to upset or worry anyone over something that isn't worth a second thought.

I don't like to tell my doctor when it gets worse because I worry she'll think I'm looking for attention. I worry that's what I am doing.

Maybe there's really no problems and I'm just stupid.
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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Whatever. (trig)

Posted April 9th 2011 at 09:08 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Saw my doctor yesterday. Was a mess before I left. Couldn't stop crying, eventually attacked my arm with a blade and just put my jacket on. Was too hot so I sat there with my jacket sitting over my arm. Was the only one on the bus, when I checked my arm was a mess and had blood smeared everywhere. Sat with my jacket covering it in front of my doctor while she said that it was her last day until February because she's off on maternity leave. Recommended Doctor G and said that if the pills were working...

LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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....

Posted April 8th 2011 at 01:22 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Tonight. (trig)

Posted April 8th 2011 at 12:17 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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A good day? Seriously?!

Posted April 4th 2011 at 06:23 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I think today was actually good. Holy crap. I think I'm in shock.

I had to get up early to go into college for an exam. ON THE FIRST DAY OF THE HOLIDAYS WTF? My brother also had to come with me since I said I'd take him into town after and there was no way I was going to college, going home, picking him up and going back. It's like this:
House----------(25 minutes)-----------College----(10 minutes)----Town
So I just made him get up early and took him with me.

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Small things. (trig)

Posted April 3rd 2011 at 07:33 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Today's been hard. Pulled in to serve at church. Stupid mistake that everyone saw. Just wanted to cut. Had to stop myself from saying it out loud.
Work for 5 hours. So slow. Quiet. Spent most of that time sat on a stool staring at the wall.

Got home and dad reheated dinner. He came into the living room not long after I finished and started shouting and yelling at me for not taking my plate through yet. Apparently I knew he was putting the dishwasher on and deliberately didn't

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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The Way She Feels. (trig)

Posted April 3rd 2011 at 12:25 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Stop. (trig)

Posted April 2nd 2011 at 08:08 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Thoughts are rushing through my head too fast.

Saw the doctor yesterday. Never seen her before. Just needed a new prescription. She kept asking questions.
Why are you depressed? No idea. lie
What do your parents do? Council and accountant.
Do you get on with your parents? Yes.
Do you get on with your brother? Yes.
Are there any drug/alcohol problems in your

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Meh. (trig)

Posted April 1st 2011 at 02:49 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

I have to leave soon to go to the doctor. Get more pills. Yay. Had a dream that I had to go to his funeral again. All I wanted to do was cry. He was there and I was just waiting for him to disappear in full knowledge I'd never see him again.
Arm is a mess. I'm worried about whoever this doctor is asking to see them. I kind of want to ask them to check my height and weigh me so I can know for sure where I am. Just worried I weigh more than I think. Wii told me I lost more today. Made

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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Blades. (trig)

Posted March 31st 2011 at 10:37 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Blades came in today. Only 5 of them. Disposable. Doesn't mean they can't be recycled and used again. And again. And again.
I'm home alone tomorrow. I'm kind of afraid. I know I have to get on the wii to see if I lost anything. And I know I'll more than likely have gained weight. If I have I'll cut and overdose and refuse to eat. I can't gain anymore.

I won't.
So triggered tonight. Trying to hide it. I want to cut deep and not think about the consequences. I want the blood

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LlamaLlamaDuck

Llama Lover/Skittle Minion

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