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Old

Let me out of here!

Posted June 23rd 2011 at 08:22 AM by Riddikulus

I hate it here!
I just want to leave now, better or not!

Just stop talking to me mom, stop telling me how stupid i am. Don't you think i already know that...

Why did they have to find me, why couldn't they have let me go.. it would have hurt less..

I feel like i'm getting worse, i want them to leave me so i can just go, but they won't >_< there's no point, they know i'm just going to try again at some point :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Old

It's not like they care (triggering)

Posted June 18th 2011 at 10:44 PM by Riddikulus

Wow that was fun, i spent most of my night pushing my drunk ass bf off me and holding my friend up. We had to leave the party earlier after an ambulance had to be called because we were climbing on the roof and a lad fell off.

I'm not really enjoying life at the moment, everything seems to find it's way of making me more depressed, i got home and my mom shouted at me for closing the door too loudly and then again for apparantly back chatting >_<.
Might just go and cut and
...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Old

ohh..nice one Charli... >_< (triggering)

Posted June 17th 2011 at 10:49 AM by Riddikulus



I finally did it..messed up big time and now he's gone... >_<
I didn't mean to upset him like i did, he wouldn't let me leave but just went ahead and left himself...i'm so stupid. I should just get on with things but i can't, instead i just sit here and drink vodka and SH, i'm such a fail :/
I don't know what i was thinking when i thought things were finally starting
...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Old

Argh Charli...why can't you get it right...

Posted June 14th 2011 at 10:14 AM by Riddikulus




I don't even know whats going on with me lately, i just feel so distant and confused. I don't understand myself anymore, let alone anyone else understanding me. I'm trying to hard to stay calm and composed through everything, to stay strong and tell myself it will be okay in the end: but i'm slowly losing this battle, i can't hold on for much longer, i'm breaking.
Watching my boyfriend
...
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Old

Shut up.. it's all your fault....

Posted June 9th 2011 at 10:37 AM by Riddikulus

Why does it always have to be me who is in the wrong!? Never him, because he doesn't make mistakes or give in, just changes his mind. But no, i mess up everything, everything that is going on at the moment is my fault, because he had no input at al;, well i must have a pretty clever body to have done this all by myself. I'm trying so hard to hold on and support him and just us in general, he doesn't seem to understand that he has to help me. The stress is unbearable and i'm falling apart.... but...
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Old

They just ignore me :/

Posted June 6th 2011 at 04:45 PM by Riddikulus

Sometimes i'm pretty sure everyone just ignores me >_< Either that or i'm being told i am too young to be staff, which i get told regularly: i'm not even that young :/
Whenever i make a post asking for advice it is never really answered, i might get one post possibly two sometimes; i sometimes feel as though they are ignored :/
I feel as though since i've become staff i can't really ask for advice, i know that's not the case but you know.
This isn't aimed at anyone, just
...
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Old

Why did i let them all move back in with me?

Posted June 5th 2011 at 03:39 PM by Riddikulus

Why did i let them all move back in with me? >_<

My mom has done nothing but clean and shout at me, my bf just got annoyed at me for telling him he can't walk around the house naked anymore My parents keep arguing about my training and whether i can race anymore.

I was so glad to be out of hospital, but now i wish i was just by myself, so i can just curl up and cry...i want this to end...
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Old

Thankyou

Posted May 31st 2011 at 12:00 PM by Riddikulus

Thankyou to everyone for all your support and messages, you are amazing.


Still in hospital, i'm not sure when i'l be out; hopefully soon! My dad has lent me his laptop for the next couple of days, so if anyone needs anything i'm still here

I hate being in here, it's horrible and scary and no one will tell me what is going on. I just want to leave and if anything happens, it happens: I shouldn't have ODed in the first place :/

I wish they would
...
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Old

Time...please...just stop or slow down for a bit...

Posted May 27th 2011 at 05:12 PM by Riddikulus



I finished compulsory education today, i said for years this was going to be one of the happiest days of my life but i'm not that excited.
The leavers assembly made everyone cry as it had pictures of my old form tutor who died on there and us from when we had just started high school, but it was brilliant. We all came out of school at 12 o clock and didn't know what to do,
...
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Old

Spamming every single staffie :D

Posted May 25th 2011 at 06:11 PM by Riddikulus

I had some great fun posting pictures on every single staffies wall! It's cause they are all amazing I hope you all feel special!
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