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Old

Today is the day I should have died *trig*

Posted June 19th 2013 at 11:03 PM by Riddikulus

Today, the 19th June, my planned suicide date. I've had this planned for so long but now people know about it and now I'm not carrying through with the plan today I feel really crappy.
I feel like I shouldn't be here now, that I should be feeling better, like I should be going through with it all :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
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Old

Psychiatric Wellbeing

Posted June 17th 2013 at 08:15 PM by Riddikulus

Had such a shitty few days, after people finding out about my suicide plans I've been refered to psychiatric wellbeing team.
I feel so empty and alone and like no one cares :/ I can't cope any longer.

I really need people to talk to
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
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Old

Why does no one care *trig*

Posted April 30th 2013 at 06:21 PM by Riddikulus

No one ever seems to care about me anymore, I've been falling apart the last few days and I'm always being told that I need to tell people I actually need help because they can't read minds, so I text my four best friends saying how much I needed to talk to them and all of them ignored me. They didn't even acknowledge that I had text them :/
I assume they were busy and I guess I'm just pathetic for assuming that they would help me, most of the time I just need a hug but they just never notice.
...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
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Old

I deserve the pain, I deserve to die *trig*

Posted April 28th 2013 at 06:51 PM by Riddikulus

I've had such a rough few days, I need people so much and there seems to be no one around.
Last night I drunk way too much and hurt myself badly. So this morning I ended up sitting outside A&E crying until a nurse came over and asked if i was okay, then I just said I was fine and left.
I'm so stupid and pathetic, I couldn't even bring myself to walk in. I'm in so much pain but I'm too scared to do anything.
I deserve the pain, I deserve to die.
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 67 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Well if tonights my last night, I don't want to be alone *trig*

Posted March 19th 2013 at 10:29 PM by Riddikulus

I've spent so long reaching out to people, asking for help and no one will, they all say they're there for me, but when i actually ask for the help they're not. My family hate me, they tell me regularly they can't wait for me to leave. My friends well... so called friends don't care what i do, how much I hurt myself and will think badly off me if I told them the truth.

I've been holding on like people tell me to, but for what, why am I just holding on for nothing.

I'm better
...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 58 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Well done, proved my point :/

Posted February 13th 2013 at 07:29 AM by Riddikulus

You know what, I give up. Well done, proved my point :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 91 Comments 2 Riddikulus is offline
Old

No one talks to me anymore

Posted February 12th 2013 at 09:21 PM by Riddikulus

Even when I talk to epople they either don't talk to me or give me short answers. In a place I've always felt comfortable and like i fitted in, I've never felt so alone.
I'm used to being ignored generally, but lately it's really getting to me. I'm reaching out to people and they either don't notice or don't care, I can't take much more..

It's coming to an end for me :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 101 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline
Old

I can't believe it's been a year *trig*

Posted February 3rd 2013 at 08:33 PM by Riddikulus

It's been a year Peter, I miss you so much, I still remember the moment I heard the bad news like it was yesterday, the pain of it all.

Makes me think of just going, joining you. Everything has been so hard lately, I just want to give up. No one cares, i'm just this stupid person thats going no where and means nothing to anyone anymore. I don't what to be in this place where I don't fit in, can't stop thinking about the pills. :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 89 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Don't worry, i've realised i'm invisible to you!

Posted January 23rd 2013 at 09:57 PM by Riddikulus

I talk and everyone ignores me, no matter what i say. I ask for help....nothing.

There's not much more I can do, I can't keep holding on, I'm slipping and watching around as no one is willing to listen.


Alone..Scared..Pathetic :/
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 82 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Exams start tommorrow :/

Posted January 10th 2013 at 07:45 PM by Riddikulus

Exams start tommorrow :/ so nervous, I needs A's this year! Biology tommorrow, i think i know the stuff but i have a feeling it'll be really hard.

Feeling so lonely, if i spend more than 2 minutes downstairs my parents are shouting at me to go and revise. At school i feel so alone, i have friends but i don't know it's not the same anymore, i'm always by myself and so down all of the time.

Alone, going to fail my exams, pathetic...
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
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