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Old

Failing my exams *trig*

Posted January 12th 2012 at 08:39 PM by Riddikulus

I'm going to fail these exams tommorrow and dissapoint my parents as usual.
I try so hard to please them, to make them proud, but i'm too stupid, I'm just not good enough.

I don't know what i'm going to do anymore. cut cut cut.... >_<
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 45 Comments 2 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Urgh just stop apologising...

Posted January 11th 2012 at 09:48 PM by Riddikulus

Urgh, I'm so stupid, I need to learn to stop apologising , I need to stop being so pathetic.

I just can't help it, I apologise so much to my parents, i'm just used to it. It's becuase i'm a disappointment and failure to everyone and i'm sorry to everyone for that,

I hate myself, I want to make people proud, mainly my parents. I want them to stop critising me, I want everything to be okay...

I don't even know what the point of this is, it jsut shows how pathetic
...
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 46 Comments 2 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Feel so ill *trig

Posted January 8th 2012 at 09:12 PM by Riddikulus

Urgh, I can't deal with anything right now. I've been really ill for the last week or so and my mom is being ridiculous saying i'm fine when i'm clearly not.
I can't be doing with the way she talks to me and the way she treats me and the only way i can stop myself exploding at her is SH.
I just want to cut and hurt, i don't wnat to have to deal with life anymore. I want her to leave me alone :/
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 48 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline
Old

It must be me *trig*

Posted December 30th 2011 at 11:35 AM by Riddikulus

I've decided it must just be me :/
Today so far I have been told to f off, called some really nasty names and told to go and cut myself in chat.
I have been blamed for banning someone from chat when i evidently didn't. :/

I really gets to me >_<

Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 51 Comments 4 Riddikulus is offline
Old

I was so scared.. *trig*

Posted December 11th 2011 at 08:58 PM by Riddikulus

I don't know why i agreed to going back out with him.
We got back home in the car and he kissed me and then started being really rough so i pushed him off me, he kept trying to put his hands in places i didn't want them, but the more i tried to stop him the rougher he got and the more he hurt me >_<
I feel really bad though, he's my bf, i should have let him >_<
The more i cried the more upset and annoyed he got, i feel so stupid and pathetic :/
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 62 Comments 4 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Let me fall

Posted November 20th 2011 at 10:01 PM by Riddikulus

The one person that always said he believed in me and that he loved me no matter what. But no, now he's saying he doesn't care about me, it's the hardest thing to hear from your grandad.
I can't handle the arguments or the pain. I'm worthless..
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The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 53 Comments 0 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Slipping away

Posted November 18th 2011 at 06:36 AM by Riddikulus

I'm just running around in circles, losing control. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm breaking and i don't think i can hold on any longer >_<
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 52 Comments 1 Riddikulus is offline
Old

Fingers are slipping... *trig*

Posted November 14th 2011 at 08:38 PM by Riddikulus

I just can't hang on any longer, I'm not strong enough >_<
Need to cut and hurt, cut the pain away...
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 42 Comments 2 Riddikulus is offline
Old

All going at once :/ *trig*

Posted November 12th 2011 at 08:38 PM by Riddikulus

As if things weren't going badly enough for my family as while we were away two family members died, my grandad came around today and informed us that my great aunt has been given two weeks to live as she has a brain tumour.

I can't deal with all the upset and anger, I just was to cut again and again, I don't want to live anymore :/
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 43 Comments 2 Riddikulus is offline
Old

I need to make up for the lost weeks *trig*

Posted November 10th 2011 at 10:40 PM by Riddikulus

I don't know what's going on with me lately, I've just been on what was supposed to be an amazing holiday but instead i couldn't wait to get home.
My family were horrible to me all the time, shouting at me constantly for everything and hurting me.

I want to cut badly and make up for those weeks that i couldn't, i want to OD and end all the pain. I want to just stop being pathetic and stop feeling so worthless...
Riddikulus's Avatar
The magic word... expelliarmus
Posted in Uncategorized
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