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Death, Grieving and Coping With Loss Coping with loss is difficult at any age, but you are not alone during this difficult time. Reach out to other users in this forum.

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My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 02:34 AM

My uncle passed away sometime during the night last night. He had been sick for a while and had been in and out of the hospital for a while. But, he got good reports from his doctors last week so it did come as a shock that he suddenly passed away. I also was talking to him just a few weeks ago and he seemed to be in good spirits. And now he's dead. It's also weird because I have him on Facebook and I think he's the first dead person have on FB, but I'd never delete him off.

He was my favorite uncle. He was the one whose house we held birthday parties at, the one where we'd go swimming over the summer and hang out with everyone. He also really helped me pass some of my high school and college classes by helping with math and also with studying for tests when the vocabulary words were too hard for my parents to pronounce.

I have a few photos of him when I was a baby and one from when he came to my national honor society induction in high school. I wish I had more.

Gone one day, here the next I guess.


   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 10:44 AM

Hi Dez,

I am so sorry about your loss and hope that you will be okay soon. You said that you have some pictures of him, see if you can put them together in a scrapbook and can you ask someone else in your family if they have any pictures of him that you can get and add them to the book with the one's that you have. You can draw anything around the pictures or next to them. For example it can be hearts or I love you or miss you or anything else. Are you able to talk about how you are feeling with your siblings and parents, maybe they are feeling the same way as you are. Take it one day at a time, when you are having a hard time see if you can try doing something to get your mind off of this for a while for example going for a walk around your house or grabbing a book to read for a while or drawing or painting something or putting on a funny movie or TV show or calling a friend or something else that you enjoy doing and try that for a while. Whatever you are feeling that is totally fine to do, when this happens to us we will all feel it differently and if you want to talk you can or if you want to be alone or something else. I hope you will be okay soon Dez, sending you lots of to help you and if you want to talk just let me know.


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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 10:56 AM

Hi Dez,

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. I can't offer much advice but if you ever need to talk, my inbox is always open for you.


   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 11:37 AM

Hey Dez, I'm sad for your loss over your Uncle. Grief is one of the hardest to deal with.

I will remember you in my quiet times.

   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 11:57 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Dez. He sounds like he was an amazing man and I can fully sympathise with how hard this all is for you. It sounds like you have really great memories of him, and talking about them and even smiling at them is a good thing. Maybe try and talk to your family and anybody who knew him about those memories. I've found in the past that doing so encourages people to share their memories too, and you end up learning lots more really lovely facts about your loved ones that you didn't know before that way. Maybe you could also put together some sort of memory box for him, where you can put your photos or little objects which might remind you of him. That way, even though you've lost him, you get to keep a bit of him with you when you need reassurance or to be close to him.

If you need to talk at all I'm happy to help, so feel free to PM me anytime. I'll be thinking of you and your family as you're going through this. Stay strong



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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 12:22 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss, Dez. Thinking of you and your family during this time.
   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 23rd 2021, 01:52 PM

It's already hard to lose a member of the family, but one who you especially adored is even worse. One moment they were there doing their usual thing and suddenly we'll never see them ever again. Grief is always so unique and comes in many shapes and forms. Take all the time you need to process the situation and for yourself in general.

We're here whenever you need us.


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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 24th 2021, 07:02 PM

Sorry to hear about your uncle. It's hard when, despite having been ill for a while, he had been doing okay and it sounds like it was a bit sudden for you to find out that he had died. He clearly meant a lot to you and it's understandable that you might be feeling shocked, when someone who was so important to you has passed away. Look after yourself and remember we are all here to listen to you


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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 25th 2021, 01:51 AM

I am so sorry to hear about your uncle! I am thinking of you and your family. If you need anything you know how to find me <3


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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 26th 2021, 03:48 AM

Hello Dez, Sorry for hearing about your uncle's death... May he rest in peace.
   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 29th 2021, 01:34 AM

Thanks everyone! <3 My sister told me some funny stories my aunt told her when she came over. I guess my uncle poured coffee at some point between him waking up to pee and passing, and my aunt found it full on the windowsill after and had a laugh that even now he was always making her wash dishes. And she found three cookies in his jacket pocket after She also told her that even though he was shaking from Parkinson's he insisted on having a cup of coffee and not a travel mug so you'd be able to find him wherever he went by the coffee spills.


   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - March 30th 2021, 10:35 PM

Sometimes humour is the best way to deal with a sad situation, so I am glad you and your family have found things to laugh at. They do sound like funny stories! He sounds like a really great person and I am sure you and your family have many other funny stories to tell about him when the time is right. I hope you're coping okay?



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Re: My uncle died last night. - April 24th 2021, 10:41 AM

Hi Dez,

My deepest condolences to you and your family for your loss. Death of a loved one is a difficult time, so please make sure that you are taking out some time to look after your mental health. It's totally okay to cry as much as you need to and feel like not being up to do anything for some time. It's part of the grieving process.

I think it's lovely that you have great memories of him that you can carry with you. Like the others have mentioned on this thread, there are many creative ways you can keep these memories of him safely.

He seems to have been a great person who adored you and took great care of you. The part about him helping you through school is really sweet. You're truly blessed to have such a caring Uncle.

Take care and feel free to PM me if there's anything you'd like to chat about!


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Re: My uncle died last night. - April 28th 2021, 07:10 AM

Sending you and your family love and prayers during this tough time. I am so sorry for your loss.
   
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Re: My uncle died last night. - May 8th 2021, 07:58 PM

Hi Dez, I'm so sorry for the loss of your uncle. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. I still have my grandma on facebook who passed away a few years ago, one of my family members changed it to a 'remembering' page. I still tag her in posts and write on her wall when I'm feeling lonely.

Please reach out to me if you need to talk at all. We are all here for you



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