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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - February 1st 2018, 06:18 AM

I’d be suicidal even if I were all you had. Don’t ask me to stay for you. Don’t ask me to stay just because she died. That’s not fair. That’s not how this works.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 1st 2018, 07:08 AM

My life is missing something, but I'm afraid adding anymore to it will make me even more of a burden to you. And you wanted me to get another job yet complain and have to juggle shit around just to get me to the one I have!

This shit right here is why I ignore you. You need to stop taking things so personally (which I know is hard because I used to do it) and learn to let things go!


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 1st 2018, 02:28 PM

Anxiety has been so crappy lately. I'll be okay because I always am but everything feels so crappy right now.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 1st 2018, 06:33 PM

I'm disgusting and everybody knows it


"Why want another universe if this one has dogs?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - February 1st 2018, 07:19 PM

I am SOOOO sad. Not sure why. I do know that my appointment is coming up on Monday so I could talk to him about it.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 03:25 AM

It’s painful for me to sit or lean on anything that’s not soft because my bones are sticking out. But I can’t complain because I brought this upon myself.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 03:54 AM

Yuuup play the pity party because I told you to leave me alone because you’re smothering me. I’m horrible and you’re just fine.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 05:36 AM

Please don't leave me...not yet.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 04:07 PM

I asked you over and over and you keep ignoring me. It's really fucking annoying. I'll only ask one more time
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 05:37 PM

my RHR is too low. my blood pressure is too low. my vitals are all out of whack and I’m terrified but I’m still not skinny. I’m not even thin. I don’t have an eating disorder.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 2nd 2018, 06:27 PM

Awesome. I am a failure.

I know they probably were considering me for the position... but I didn't get it ... so that consideration doesn't matter.

I have another interview coming up so I'll just have to be sure to tailor the questions to the position...but IDK. I feel defeated. I am going to end up homeless.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 3rd 2018, 04:36 AM

Hormones are evil. I just hope I feel better so I can get enough sleep.

Working weekends has made me hate people and lose all faith in humanity.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 3rd 2018, 02:07 PM

I hope this month is better than last. I doubt it to be honest
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 4th 2018, 02:04 AM

Why the fuck does it feel like people are against me at my work? I feel terrible as fuck right now yet im still working. I definitely hate people and being around them right now. I just want to be alone right now...4 more hours to go



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While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


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  (#6175 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 4th 2018, 04:08 PM

I feel useless at the moment because I'm just so tired. It's also hard trying to carrying on as normal when there is upheaval


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 4th 2018, 04:10 PM

My head has been hurting since 2am. I was able to get a some relief through sleep but it's back. More medication but I doubt it will work.

My plans are ruined
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 4th 2018, 04:14 PM

One more shift, but its a Sunday shift. But pizza and 2 days off when its over


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 5th 2018, 12:48 AM

I feel so broken.
NOTHING is appealing to me. I have been reading a fair bit but the books bore me and I find myself skimming a fair bit.
Maybe I'll go watch a show. I have been wanting to watch the Handmaid's tale. The concept of trying to watch tv doesn't appeal to me either
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 5th 2018, 12:09 PM

I love waking up to you screaming and cussing. It’s the best. Really.
I feel for how unhappy you must be to act like this all the time. You’ll never learn. You don’t even care to.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 5th 2018, 02:12 PM

It's hard.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 6th 2018, 01:27 AM

Applications are still going to make me anxious, but I probably won't even hear from them, it's more part-time, and I feel like transitioning into a second field gives me a better chance when I'm ready to get out of retail. I don't know if you realize that I don't plan on quitting my job. Most people there carry two or even three jobs and if Medicaid is going to be this big or a pain in the ass every year, I'd rather make enough money to not qualify at all, but that means I'd be paying for everything out of pocket.


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Last edited by Kate*; February 6th 2018 at 09:03 PM.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 6th 2018, 08:58 PM

I shouldn't have agreed to going tonight. I don't know too many people that are going to be there. I suppose it will be okay. I can be social for an hour or two and head home?

idk ... kind of want to ditch but I can't do that because I already committed
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 7th 2018, 01:47 AM

Ah, yes. MY anger is immature, but YOUR anger is just fine.
Fucking psycho double standard having ass bitch.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 7th 2018, 05:07 AM

I feel like such a terrible fucking person!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 7th 2018, 06:13 AM

I hate this.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 7th 2018, 02:45 PM

I'm tired!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 7th 2018, 03:33 PM

I don't feel worthy of love
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 8th 2018, 02:21 PM

Everything is getting too me!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 8th 2018, 04:02 PM

I think it needs to happen soon
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 8th 2018, 08:58 PM

I need this to be processed so it can be done and I need my insurance fixed asap. Why is this so fucking hard?!


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 9th 2018, 12:47 AM

I'm thinking a lot about leaving all this behind.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 01:41 AM

So, apparently I picked the absolute wrong day to pay a loan off because this happens to be the weekend where the system is behind itself and it wants to make me think I owe $600

This is EXACTLY what I was afraid of by the way. Not only do I acknowledge that I'm not perfect, but I think we become just like the group we ran from if you start doing this.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 03:40 AM

I keep asking myself why
Why did I survive
Why did I do all these things
Why am I here

I know today ... is just a bad day ... but I seem to be having a lot of those

They issue is ... I am coming off as a lot more functional....and that's scary because it makes it easier to lie
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 03:47 AM

I can't stop what I'm doing, the feeling is to strong and I just give in.
That's what happened tonight! I'm a horrible person!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 02:48 PM

I have no idea what is wrong with me.
I have to be okay
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 04:51 PM

Suggest a little personal responsibility and get attacked. Make a point against victim-blaming, get removed. Yeah, this is TOTALLY different then what we ran from.

Weekend shifts are the absolute WORST. I might have to take one off again.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 07:42 PM

I feel like I'm not allowed to eat anymore. If I eat, then I gain weight. If I gain weight, then I'm not actually sick. If I'm not actually sick, then I really, really don't deserve help. I can rationalize getting sicker because it means I'm deserving of help, but isn't the purpose of help is to get me healthy again? I realize that it's not that I'm irrational, it's that I'm unreasonable. My rationalizing skills are perfectly sufficient, it's the reasoning ones that need work.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 07:57 PM

Come on! Why can't you stop this? Again I did it and the feeling was so strong and I had to and I really hate myself right now! I need help with this.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 10th 2018, 08:11 PM

fucking Ghost is fucking metal period
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 11th 2018, 08:28 AM

everything is always my fault
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