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Why Me? Here is a safe space to let it all out, where you can rant about all the bad things life throws your way. Sometimes it just helps to ask "why me?"

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Re: Screaming thread. - February 19th 2018, 10:43 AM

Negative and then positive... It will be okay
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 20th 2018, 02:29 PM

I'm such an embarrassingly pathetic human being. I hate myself so much.


"Words, just sometimes, can set you free."
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 20th 2018, 04:59 PM

Verbal abuse is damaging.
I feel so bad for those kids and there is nothing I can do because NO ONE acknowledges verbal abuse. If I say anything you'll stop letting me see the kids and at least by seeing them I can encourage them and let them know that they are special and loved...

It angers me that you condone her behavior. Have you not learned anything from our childhood? Do you not remember how hard it was growing up with a mother who berated you and a father who sat by and let it help ... you have the power to speak up ... you have the power to try and stop it ...
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 21st 2018, 03:10 AM

I really can't sleep. My stomach is doing a complete roll over and there is nothing I can do about it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 21st 2018, 10:59 PM

Are you serious? Get over yourself!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 21st 2018, 11:55 PM

I told you it can knock me out for 12+ hours. Now do you believe me?!

I'm getting too old for this gossiping crap. I've had NO problems with this woman, and you seem to have issues with a lot of people.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 22nd 2018, 02:25 AM

Having surgery tomorrow. Nervous as hell.
I hope I die during the surgery.




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Re: Screaming thread. - February 22nd 2018, 04:19 AM

Can't sleep... I miss you. So much.


Those words aren't enough to contain the hurt in them. Please come find me.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 22nd 2018, 09:16 AM

I miss you . And how we spent time together. And how you always cared about me, and got angry at me even when i was a little down.

I miss the old you , my best friend. I miss who you were. You're still nice now, but I hope that the connection we had is still there.

I don't have any hope left.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 22nd 2018, 04:10 PM

I just gave a really shitty presentation. From a grade perspective, it didn't hurt too bad, but floundering for words in front of the class did.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 22nd 2018, 08:07 PM

I feel like bashing my head against the wall.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 02:43 AM

I realized after I agreed to that that it only gets me 15 minutes of extra pay, while allowing you to get 45 extra minutes of work out of me without being legally required to give me a break. And no raise either. Don't blame you for that one, but you shouldn't have made it sound like I was getting one if I wasn't. So, yes, I'll be making sure. And I'm working the 6 hours so I can have the break I'm entitled to. If he complains I'll just say I changed my mind. 15 minutes is 15 minutes and that "extra money" is less than $3


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 04:03 AM

I feel terrible
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 10:13 AM

I want you back, but life ain't that nice or warm. I HAVE COMPLETELY GIVEN UP.

So.. please... Give me someone like YOU! YOU ARE THE SWEETEST, MOST DOWN TO EARTH PERSON EVER.

and i lost you.And losing you caused me to lose everything I have . I lost my smile. I lost every semblance of happiness.

You were my happiness.

At least, if you're happy, I'm happy.I'lljust watch you... being happy. I hope that you'll always be happy.

For me, a far more permanent fate awaits me. At least my pain will end .....ahahahahahahahhaahhahahaahahhhaha

HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! HSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHH! HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAH A! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Yeah.. I'm definitely not okay.

Fate .. or whatever wills the world , please be a little kind to me. I need it. Give be... a blessing.. in the shape of a human form.. that can spend time with me.

Much kindness and warmth,
Darren


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 03:29 PM

I feel like I am pointless. That I'm unimportant
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 04:37 PM

I am so, so sick of this. When did it begin? Two, three years ago? I used to write so much. They told me they loved my poems, my stories. I drew so much, I would fill up files with drawings at an astonishing pace. I read tons and tons of books and I somehow managed to squeeze a little time of playing video games into my schedule. And I genuinely enjoyed every single minute of it. I remember being so disappointed when the clock struck one in the morning in the weekend and I knew I had to go to sleep, otherwise I would wake up a zombie the following day, but I wanted to play more so much. Every one of those activities was like a precious treat for me.

It's changed. Now I enjoy nothing. I have too much time to spare, because I don't study at all, I just ignore studying. And during that time I have nothing to do. It's absolutely terrifying: a few years ago I would say: 'you're bored? wow, you must be such a dull person.' Now I am bored. Not because I've got nothing to do, but because I don't want to do anything. Today I opened a book and closed it after having read three words. I glanced at piles of unfinished drawings accumulated on my desk and pieces of paper and rubbish all over my room. It was absolutely, genuinely repulsive. Repugnant. I feel like vomiting when I look at things I used to do, because it reminds me that I'm wasting my time. And this time will never come back.

All I do is play video games all day, just because I have to somehow pass the time between nights, when I can just sleep. But I'm not enjoying it anymore. I don't want to see Edward Kenway or Geralt of Rivia or whoever else. But I'm forcing myself to play. I'm so sick of it.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 23rd 2018, 07:10 PM

I am feeling overwhelmed and angry...great combination...
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 03:54 AM

Fuck off....



Also what do I do...i have too many subconscious problems, things that I've hidden in the vault and repressed because if I let my self feel something, I'll give in to the hurt and... I don't even know. Someone please tell me what's the point to this life, if you don't have the freedom to feel, what's the point of living it?
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 04:30 AM

I hate you.

You let so MANY people abuse me in life. You couldn't have stopped some of it because you didn't know BUT there were so many indications that there was stuff going on with them too. You CHOSE to stand by and not do anything

and to hear that goddamn victim blaming statement from you ... the person who let people abuse me. .. the person who NEVER stepped in ... totally messed with my mind...I have so much anger at you for the times you didn't intervene.

You are a weak man and you always will be and your weakness is the reason I was abused by so many people ... people and instances you could have STOPPED.

I don't blame you for them ... I blame you for the others ... the abuse you witness and passed off as nothing.

FUCK OFF!!!!
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 11:50 AM

Starting to forget what it felt like to not be sick. My throat is killing me. This is day 7. For god sake just stop.


Why is it that everyone you talk to me I feel like I'm being interviewed. I don't like it.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 01:35 PM

i just wanna die
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 02:00 PM

I'm tired of everyone.

Disregard what I say. Cool. This is all such bullshit.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 02:34 PM

I'm a major fuckup. Got to get my shit together...
At least it's not entirely my fault, I'm surrounded by dipshits.
Your a dipshit. Dipshit. Also dipshit.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 05:02 PM

Holy shit, pot calling the kettle black like I've never heard. If only you took your own advice, we might have lives right now.

I got permission to do this, but it's different, I don't like it, and I didn't sleep in part thanks to nightmares. UGH


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 24th 2018, 05:49 PM

My anxiety is so bad. I can't breath.

I know it's bad today because of last night. I know that comment I saw didn't help either because I have been thinking so much about her but apparently because it was her fault... She doesn't deserve sympathy.

I'm an idiot for being bothered and letting my anxiety increase.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 25th 2018, 05:24 AM

The way he said it sounded to me like there was something he wanted me to do about it. Or that it was something he wanted me to feel bad about. Something I should be considerate of. “Your Mom is missing your sister badly tonight. She has been crying for about two hours. She just laid down and fell asleep. She’s exhausted.” Like... hey, here’s a reminder your mom is grieving. Here’s a reminder of how much this hurts your mom.

NO. SHIT. But remember the twenty three years of existence you had without her? Remember how SHE AND I WERE ONE LUMP OF CELLS THAT SPLIT? MY EXISTENCE WAS HER. I CAN’T HELP YOUR GRIEF. DON’T PUT THAT BURDEN ON ME. YOU DON’T KNOW MY GRIEF. I CAN’T CARRY YOURS, TOO.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 25th 2018, 05:56 AM

I am a fucking awful human
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 25th 2018, 02:43 PM

Another terrible headache. Maybe the medication and going back to bed will help

I am really close to walking away. Letting my frustration and anger get in the way of making a thoughtful decision. Although, if I thought about it enough and talked it out ... it would all come out the same ... I can keep being walked all over and I need to step back or walk away completely.

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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 02:27 AM

Motherfucker, you’re gonna owe me until one of us dies, and that’s the tea.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 04:19 AM

My heart, mind, body and soul hurt.

Nothing else to say. Not sure how to be *okay*.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 05:55 AM

If only I had a pain tolerance.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 12:41 PM

What if the reason I got into the mess is because my life was so fucking unmanageable that I saw no other option to get by, and now that I'm "clean and sober" my life is more unmanageable because I threw out my way to cope when things get this bad and there's nothing good enough to replace it? Life just hurts too much right now. I don't want to get high or drunk or anything; I just want to stop feeling so much pain because it hurts too much. Is that really so wrong to want just a little bit of relief from this constant and increasing pain? If this is what sobriety feels like, I don't want it. It fucking sucks.


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 12:50 PM

Fuck all of you I don't need this
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 09:12 PM

No one cares
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 26th 2018, 09:47 PM

What's the point anymore?




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Re: Screaming thread. - February 27th 2018, 03:23 AM

Okay, I'm 99% sure that means it's fixed and the the final steps are in progress. PLEASE tell me this will be the end of it and I can stop fighting with these people. But, that's proof all along that it was once again THEIR fault because they had the documents the whole time.


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 27th 2018, 03:44 AM

Why the fuck does everything have to be so overwhelming this semester? It fuckin sucks and makes me want drop for a semester. Also, people I thought I knew assume I am fucking perfect and don't cuss. I will say this once: I am not FUCKING perfect. Don't expect that I am what you think I am. You don't understand me and you don't know me if you think that way!!



"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez


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Re: Screaming thread. - February 27th 2018, 06:09 AM

I'm struggling so much.

I hate myself.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 27th 2018, 01:13 PM

Things are tough.

Had enough.

I hope that a miracle comes my way.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Screaming thread. - February 27th 2018, 01:40 PM

Life is fucking shit. No one can be trusted, fucking everyone betrays you and laughs. No cares about you except your family and you bloody wont understand it until someone hurts you so fucking bad that you feel like pulling your heart out and choke to death.All selfish pieces of crap around me and the next time they ask me for a favour let them come suck my ass.


Wow, this thread so useful to pour out stuff
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