Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Screaming thread.

My anxiety is killing me today.

[Chuuya]

I'm never going to be free of self harm.

[nothereanymore]

I wonder if I keep getting sick because I don't want to function. I'm depressed and don't want to live, so what does my body do? All the sickness.

[Everglow.]

I'm the first person to be there for someone if they need me...if your mental health is getting in the way of stuff..I'm there. Simple as that. But as soon as you start blaming me for your insecurities and insisting that I'm makng you feel shitty, you're gonna lose me. I am not your punching bag. I won't be bullied by you. I wont be dragged down by you every time we have a conversation because you're having a bad day. If you can't tell me you're upset/angry/paranoid but you can snap at me and make comments under your breath, we aren't friends anyway. I don't need this crap anymore. I can't keep doing it.

[nothereanymore]

Fucking. Hate. This. Medicine. Makes me feel disgusting. Fuck. I'm tired of not being well. I just can't fucking win for losing FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK

I'm so tired.

[Calaer]

I wish sometimes you were a bit more thoughtful.

Why the FRICK did I not get enough sleep and wake up early

[Everglow.]

Nothing will change. Nothing ever does.

[Chuuya]

Haha. Thanks roommate for making me feel like shit. Always a pleasure to be your backup friend.

Have fun with your more important friends.

Seriously though. Don't make plans with me and then say "JK I have plans now" That's super rude. And hurtful.

[Everglow.]

shut up shut up. you make it worse. stop speaking stop arguing stop questioning. none of this would happen if i didnt speak shut up.

[nothereanymore]

I am not responsible for your bad mood. I didn't do anything wrong. But I still feel like it.

[.Brittany.]

Why am I always in the middle

[Chai.]

I am stressed and I haven't slept well in ages. If you are going to go ahead and be a jerk, feel free. I am just going to zone out and stop talking to you. Then you can come back and be a jerk about how I pushed you away. What fun!

[nothereanymore]

When you accidentally see a dick vid of a famous actor and you get seriously uncomfortable... everyone's laughing about the leak but I'm over here trying not to get into a bad headspace because of it. I don't understand. I've seen a few dicks. Why am I freaked out and unnerved by this... I feel violated.

[nothereanymore]

No, crisis text line, I'm not actively planning my suicide, but if I were I wouldn't be texting. I'd be on the phone with the hotline. Or I wouldn't be talking to anyone at all. Just because I'm passive doesn't mean you can send me a link and then send me on my way. Does wonders for my confidence. Thanks.

[.:PrincessZelda:.]

I want to give up right now.....

[Calaer]

I hate that everything has to be so hard all the time. I wish I could just fix everything with the snap of a finger, but I know that isn't the case.

[Clarent]

Come on, mind, give me some urge to do stuff. I don't want to feel lazy all the time.

Motivate me ffs

I want to cut.

[Everglow.]

I hate myself. I'm disgusting.

[Kate*]

So, you shared a post from someone bashing fast food workers who want more money. As a social worker, I'd think you'd realize that some people with DISABILITIES can't always "grow up and choose to do better" for themselves. They have to make a livable wage at jobs like that because it's the only option they have through no fault of their own.

Now that it's January, I should be able to get in without a referral, please let that be possible, I was supposed to go in 2 months ago! Also, I can't even schedule a physical with my new doctor online for some reason, so even if I still need a referral I'll have to call and it will take FOREVER to get in! What's the point of making online scheduling an option if it doesn't work?!

You need to FUCKING EAT is it NOT that GOD DAMN HARD!!!!!!!!!! Or you'll end up exactly where you don't want to be or end up in the God damn hospital and never leave.

My co-worker is sounding so much like Taylor right now that it's freaky. I don't know how to answer her or Taylor, to be honest.

But what I do know...... is that I should have saved the Prozac and 3/4 bottle of wine for tomorrow night.

[nothereanymore]

DISCLAIMER: these are warning signs. You're missing them.

[FPFanatic6661]

Really? An episode now?! Ugh?

[nothereanymore]

Hoping for a surprise during the inauguration. I hope both Trump AND Pence are surprised. I'm a terrible human being but at least I'm not trying to lead a country being as terrible as I am. L

So numb right now. This always happens when I do what I said I did in my last post in here. *sighs* Slept until 9:50, almost missed my ride, to find out my co-worker is 'sick' again, and then decided to just skip out on my shift.

Scared, I don't think I can sleep tonight. Just realized my mum must be suspicious of my med abuse because she never sent me home with back-up meds yesterday. Sigh.

[Kate*]

Found out the only eye doctor I can see DOESN'T GO to the location closest to me anymore?! And I can't schedule a primary care visit with my primary care dr. because the system is STILL not working! At least I know I can get in now (3 months late) because it's January, UGH. I hate being a "non-compliant" patient, but that only happens rarely due to things outside my control like insurance policies or issues that take forever to fix or medical staff that take almost a year of constant nagging to do an essential administrative task that takes all of 10 minutes.

All you did was get me excited about something else I can't have. What part of not allowed near people are you not understanding?! I would LOVE to peruse that, but this will just happen again, and I barely survived the first time. Everyone who offers help eventually realizes that I really have zero options. The difference is that you technically work for me, so you can't throw up your hands, turn you back, or tell me to figure it out. Your belief in something for me will not make it possible.

We fought the same fight. You won, I lost. There are days I still can't believe it really happened.

When you have so few it's obvious when you get ditched. I know it was nothing I did, and I won't miss your fiancee tagged in every post, but you know unfollow is an option now, right? Second one in as many months.

Exhausted, didn't get a good night's sleep.

[Chai.]

I am going to stop caring about you. I am going to focus on myself instead of wasting my time wondering why you are pushing me away.

[Calaer]

I wish that you were easier to talk to, but you aren't. I just hope that things go well.

[Chuuya]

You're an idiot. You just keep doing all this crap that is screwing up your life and you're expecting me to feel sorry for you? No it's not going to happen. DO not drag me down with you.

[.Brittany.]

I'm so exhausted, but I can't sleep

[Calaer]

I'm so tired of always having to look over my shoulder. I wish you just understood and would stop trying to be so hateful and destructive all the time.

[.Brittany.]

I'm just so stressed and exhausted. I just want to sleep for a few days..

[nothereanymore]

Guess that's what I get for thinking talking to you will make me feel better. Stupid stupid stupid.

[Chuuya]

I hate everyone and everything.

[.Brittany.]

I can't handle this anymore..

[Em.]

im tired of my life

[nothereanymore]

Early morning suicidal thoughts. Nice.