So I guess I'm an idiot.

What am I doing! I'm a Stupid, pathetic child who can't do anything right!
I upset everyone, I am annoyed at myself but that doesn't mean I should take it out on other people. I just need to hold it inside, pretend it's not there and maybe it will go away >_<

After a horrible weekend I wanted to go visit some of my friends. So Bill and Debbie let me go to my old neighborhood for awhile.
I was walking towards my friends house when someone called my name. I turn around and one of my exes was standing there. She asked how I was doing and we talked for a minute but I could tell she was nervous, So I asked her what was wrong.
I didn't like the answer.
(I had slept with her a couple months ago before we broke up) She told me she was...

Camp sucked.
The first day they asked our opions on the "gays". Everyone said either their going to hell, or their horrible people. When it was my turn I said I was bi. So then everyday during free time I had to read the bible (probably wasn't a good idea to tell them I was an athiest)
We also had a 2 hour swim everyday. The first day I sat on the dock, No problem. The second day Jordan (some idiot from camp) asked why I wasn't swimming, So I told him I couldn't swim....

Source: Newsletter | Issue 16 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #16 - July 17th 2011 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming events, short bits of advice, interesting...

J is coming over soon, so this will be my last post for just under a week.

I'll miss it here.

I feel like such a part of a community. I've made some great friends and I love helping out with people's problems.

I've applied for a secondary position, but I think my application was a bit weak, so I doubt I'll get it, but I plan to stay here for a while so even if I don't I'll be able to try again at some point.

But yeah. I love it here....

Nightmares. Constant. Last night was horrible. Got a good 11 hours or so of sleep and I'm still exhausted.
Was dreaming about my cousin. We were in the pool with a load of other people and she refused to leave me alone. She kept grabbing me. Hurting me. Pulling me under the water. Pinning me down. Pulling off my swimsuit and touching me. I was so scared and nothing I did would get her off me. No matter how much I cried and screamed and shouted and kicked out, no one paid any attention....

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of mental health in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas, so come along with your various mental health problems and we'll try to help you out! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held...

Packing for tomorrow. Perhaps I'll feel better when I take a break. I hope so, anyway.

I wanted to do more on TH today but I haven't got the time. I've done a shit load of VMs though. I love being on staff.

I'm worried about the summer, though. Will I have to take too much time off that I can't stay on staff? I don't want this taken away from me.

Perhaps when I leave home things won't be so bad. Perhaps, instead of destroying myself, I could just get help straight away? Perhaps I'll finally be able to find someone who will listen.

It's not likely though. Why do people ignore me? Why won't people help me even if I go to them for help? Why am I on my own?