I don't know anything anymore. I want to give up. I've been thinking and i just think that it would be so much better for everyone.

Just want these thoughts to go away. Want someone to hold me.

I've got more pills and so many reasons to take them.
Can't do this anymore.

Fuck...
I've just been told that all through October we have £114 to spend on food, petrol and anything else we need like train tickets...
We have £10 max to spend on food a week and I can't run or anything because we need to save the petrol...
Aparently we have to have either cereal or toast (I don't even like the latter) for tea at least every other night and I might not even be allowed fruit in the morning...
It's times like these that I hate my Dad... When it's his fault...

Feeling lonely
Not even sure why...
I just want to be around people...
Friends...
Well just this one friend, C...
I think she's beautiful...
She's my best friend in my head...
Although I think she prefers the others to me...
Or at least likes us equal...
I wish she liked me the most...
I wish I just had a pal here...
Someone to talk to and stuff...
Oh Well... I guess being lonely is the consequence of being an only child...

I honestly thought I could be myself around you. I told you all my secrets, everything. I trusted you. But none of that matters anymore, Because you only love me when I'm doing what you want. It doesn't matter that I just got out of the hospital, You can't get someone to notice you. Of course you always come first.
I'm done. I'm fucking done.