After a few weeks, you sort of forget the rush. The insane feeling of, I'm so amazing, that I can hurt myself, and even though I feel the pain (because I don't dissociate), it's nothing. It's like, it's like being powerful. It's like being so in control that you even have control of your physiological responses to pain. Pain? Give it to me, I can handle it, because that is simply how awesome I am.

And the blood? Oh yeah, the blood. Strong enough and resilient enough that I can bleed,...

Having such a crappy few days, getting more and more ill, losing everyone close to me, i was supposed to go to a party last night but i couldn't face the people, the judging.

We're starting to look at unis and our personal statements tommorrow, i'm kind of excited. I can't wait to just get away from home, away from the people that hurt me so much :/

I would love to be able to tell people that their art work simply isn't that great, without being mean, or being a troll. I'd love to offer some constructive criticism, but I'm worried that if I do, it could either upset the OP or possibly upset mods.

The problem is, I have a private art-school education (part thereof, I dropped out due to stress.), and my standards for what constitutes "good" are therefore rather higher than others' standards might be. That's not to say...

I wait all day for the nighttime to come, and then it does, and slaps me in the face.
Mother fucker. -.-

I was struggling today, but managed to do okay. The minute the night hits, like I was waiting for, I loose control. It's so bad right now, I don't think its ever been this bad.

The urges. God the urges. I'm so close to slicing into this vein on my wrist that I can feel...

So I went out with my friend today, since I wanted to get out and had money (for once). Anyways, we were sitting down in the snack (... this place that can be expensive but serves enough fries in their small fries to feed two). And we come up to the conversation that I'm not totally sure if we should have had it in public, but whatever (I've made comments about a cute girl in front of people who are parents of my classmates, so whatever). And she tells me that she was wondering "Why George?"-...