Man, I'm really hopeless at keeping a blog lately.

My toothache got so bad that I went to the hospital today to get pain relief. It's now being managed, and apparently I have a loose filling and a mild infection. I'm home now, of course, and taking the pain killers because when I don't, it's crazy sore.

I've been playing Flappy Bird. My highest score so far is 38.

They're decreasing my escitalopram from 40 mg back to 20 mg because I'm "getting elevated",...

Fuck
Why can't I be a good writer
Why can't I put my feelings into words
I wish I could say how amazing your eyes are, how amazing your nose is
And oh god your smile
Why can't I put into words how I feel about you
So someone
Anyone
Would understand how fucking insane I'm going
But all I can say is this
Sometimes I want to reach over and grab your hand
And sometimes it's 4am on a Tuesday
And my heart is beating...

I haven't been on here for ages, while my life is busier, I'm falling apart more. Since starting uni in September I've had 4 hospital trip which have involved getting stitches after Self-Harm. I keep being refered to mental health teams but getting knocked out of the system and my GP doesn't know why.
I had to see the crisis team, they keep trying to put me on meds and I'm refusing to take them.... I don't want to be here...I can't cope anymore.

I miss you when I'm alone at night. When the world is asleep. When the moon and stars are out. I remember how we stayed up gazing at them, making wishes that we'd hope would come true one day. I miss you when I'm alone at night, when every thought I have is of you. I miss you when I'm alone at night, I miss your arms around me, legs tangled together, hands entertwined, my head on your chest, listening to your heartbeat.

I miss you when I'm awake. It doesn't matter where I am, it doesn't...

well my life has gotten even worse, if thats at all possible.

my friend A tried to kill himself on thursday and is now in the hospital. i found out yesterday at school and managed not to sob until i got home. when i got home i couldn't stop crying, i haven't cried that much in years.

even though that hurt me so much to hear that, i was still suicidal yesterday. i don't get why really, why do i want to do something that i was just on the opposite side of. i hate myself...

Joined the facilitated discussion which is about building self-confidence. Kind of ironic then seeing as I didn't have the confidence to bring up my own issues. I just cut for the second time today. Its just so depressing. I thought sixth form would be a fresh start, new friends, I might start going out a bit more, but no. Instead they still go out with all of their friends from previous schools. Therefore I'm left at home to dwell on my own thoughts, getting increasingly triggered until I can't...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are two scheduled discussions on the topic of building confidence and self-esteem in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT) and the second will be held at 8pm Central US time (CST). All...