*trig* Thoughts in the darkness..

So as some of you may know, my parents have informed my little brother and I that we will probably move this summer. We may or may not stay in the same school district. (I'm a freshman in highschool).
Today i had a major realization that in a day and a half, school will end for the year, and i will probably not see my favorite people ever again. it was very very..depressing. I also realized today that i should probably not read so many self-harm threads because as the pre-fix says, its pretty triggering. lololol.
I also realized today that there are such GOOD people on here.!! Like no joke, i've met (in a way) the nicest, most understanding people on here, than in real life. People understand where your coming from, how to help you, and support you in your best interests. Its so.. AMAZING, and seriously relieving.
So as many of you might already know, i'm in the process of not self-harming any longer (5 days WOOP WOOP!!) and its been a sort of struggle. (only 5 days -____-) When i got home today from school, and sat with my laptop, and read all of the stories i thought i was going to drive my self crazy with urges. Usually, if i can distract myself, i wont really think about it, and i'll be okay. But if i think about it, its bad. All the BLOOD... i mean..i can't really explain it. I really just wanted to cut. BAD. just feel the pain, and see all the blood..
ANYWAYS *trying not to think about it* I'll probably post more later, i can feel the sadness come over my like a cloak of darkness, but i gotta go. /:
bye. <3