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*trig* Darkness.
Posted June 9th 2012 at 03:35 PM by escape♥
This darkness, its overwhelming. I watch a figure skating show, and they're so beautiful..all I can think is "I'm so fat. Why can't I look like them?! Why?? I've always wanted to ice skate..but I'm too fat. God I just wanna cut this away."
God. I'm just sitting here. All alone, practically in tears.
I need to be happy. For the people I love. I cannot break down, I cannot die. I..MUST be happy.
But I don't want to be. I want to be in this darkness. I deserve this, all this pain and despair. If I could, I would take all the pain from everyone else, and just die. Let them be happy, it's better that way.
Maybe later my day will get better. I get to babysit my baby cousin, and his contagious smile helps anyone see the light.
But all I see right now is darkness.
God. I'm just sitting here. All alone, practically in tears.
I need to be happy. For the people I love. I cannot break down, I cannot die. I..MUST be happy.
But I don't want to be. I want to be in this darkness. I deserve this, all this pain and despair. If I could, I would take all the pain from everyone else, and just die. Let them be happy, it's better that way.
Maybe later my day will get better. I get to babysit my baby cousin, and his contagious smile helps anyone see the light.
But all I see right now is darkness.
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