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*trig* Lost in my own head

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Posted June 13th 2012 at 05:21 PM by escape♥



I don't think I can do this anymore. This eating disorder is controlling my life. Constantly blocking out the thoughts, the feelings, the urges. Constantly making sure I'm eating, making sure no one knows. I'm so done. I broke down and purged my breakfast earlier. I felt so much relief, but immediatly regretted it.
I talked to my dad about having problems again, and I emailed my former psychologist. Hopefully going back to therapy. I thought I had beat this. I guess I was wrong. Nothing matters anymore. I feel so low. Why me? Why am I so fucked up? The cutting, the bulimia, the depression. It all tears me and my family apart. This is not worth it. Maybe if I was dead everything would be better.
But I doubt it. All I want is to be THIN.

Make it stop.
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Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Coffee.'s Avatar
    <3 You're beautiful darling. Telling your father and former psychologist was a very brave thing to do, I think it will help a lot! You can do this, you can fight this!
    permalink
    Posted June 13th 2012 at 10:37 PM by Coffee. Coffee. is offline
  2. Old Comment
    shebby's Avatar
    It was a very brave move to tell your former psychologist and dad. I could never tell my mom about my ED or SH. I'm proud of you.
    Stay strong.
    permalink
    Posted June 13th 2012 at 10:47 PM by shebby shebby is offline
  3. Old Comment
    escape♥'s Avatar
    Thanks you guys. <3 I could never tell my mom either. I had to tell my dad. I love my mom too much...if that makes any sense? haha.
    permalink
    Posted June 14th 2012 at 12:29 AM by escape♥ escape♥ is offline
 
 
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