I went to counseling yesterday. Met the lady who im going to be seeing for 6 or more months. Her name is Jill. she is nice enough. She told me i can't stop going to her unless i stop cutting and havent cut for 6 months.And i have to be happy again. Thats never gonna happen. She asked if i have thought about or attempted suicide i said no. I sort of wish i had told her the truth but i couldnt. She would have to tell my parents. They can't know about it. They wouldnt understand.

I...

It would be so much easier for everyone to live if i was dead. I just take up space. Today everyone has treated me like i don't do anything.

i just can't handle life anymore. I just want to say bye to all of my friends on TH and everyone else. Im gonna try to live but i can't make promises. No one is gonna read this anyways. No one will even notice or care that im gone. I don't have many friends. i don't deserve friends. I don't deserve to be loved. im just a horible, and pathetic...