I have made it 20 days without SH. But i feel so triggered right now, stupid pictures on tumblr. Why do people post picture that are so damn triggering? I hadn't really had many urges for a while, but now i don't think so. Im gonna distract myself. Maybe i'll just give in. I don't really know what to do anymore.

I have 2 more days of school, so excited, but also scared. Scared because i know im gonna go back to cutting and being depressed and lying all the time.

I...

Can i have 1 full day being happy? Please. I'd give anything.
Most of my day has been fine, i was in an ok mood, went with my friend, actually had fun. But now the depression is setting back in. I thought maybe for 1 day i could be happy and have no urges to SH. But no. I just want to slice my skin over and over. Just this once i miss it so much, i just want to feel the pain that i deserve. I need to cut. The urges are getting too bad, i don't think i can handle it. Maybe i'll give in just...

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