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Old

*sigh* (trig)

Posted October 14th 2013 at 02:55 AM by Lumos.

i feel so worthless right now.. i cut again yesterday and i hate myself so much for that but then i also want to cut again. i have been feeling so shitty the past couple days, and no one but best friend has noticed. my best friend has cut this week as well and i'm worried about her. her mom took away her phone yesterday (i don't know why yet) but i just hope that she won't again or worse. And i'm like 8 hours away from her, i miss her already.
i keep going between thinking that i want to
...
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Old

....(triggering and strong language)

Posted October 7th 2013 at 01:44 AM by Lumos.

well i went to homecoming yesterday

I fucking hate homecoming so much.. I started to have a panic attack the second i walked in there, so we went and got soda then went to the back of the event center where the dance was being held. At least i had my friends with me. Then we just sat in the back and talked, mostly about how much we hated the dance, and pointed out who were wearing slutty dresses. Then a bit of time past and we got bored. Then some of my friend (lets call her A) friends
...
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Old

Downhill. (triggering)

Posted October 5th 2013 at 07:52 PM by Lumos.

Once again for a while I thought i was doing alright, then i went straight downhill. I was happy and was doing good in school, i made friends. Then I went down, lower than i've been in a while.
I have cut twice in about a month, deeper than i'd gone in a while, and then a couple days ago the suicidal thoughts started again. Last night was my lowest point in almost a year. Every second I thought of something i could do that second to kill myself i thought of things
...
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