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It doesn't last long.

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Posted December 26th 2013 at 05:13 AM by Melancholia.

It never does. The stress-free me never stays for long. The stress is always lurking in the shadows.

Christmas was all right. Some fun parts then some parts that I just don't care. It's not that I wasn't happy, it's just there's no fun in Christmas for me anymore. Not when I know what 95% of my gifts are before Christmas because I have to pick them out. Not when it's the same routine. Wake up, open presents, hide in room with cool new stuff for a while and family does their thing, early dinner, sometimes to aunt's house, more bedroom time, then dessert, more bedroom time. Lost its excitement. Once Madison gets big enough to care maybe it'll be better.

Got my official acceptance email to Southern on Christmas Eve.

Was checking email on my Kindle and found the email from my guidance counselor saying that scholarships are available. She sent it on the 4th. I never went down. Can't be bothered to apply for any. Can't be bothered to do much school-related anymore. I need to apply for those scholarships though but I can't get my ass in gear.

Thinking about everything all at once again. Future. How it's probably gonna be so stressful and sucky and meh.

Oh well. It never lasts.
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  1. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    Hey there!

    I know how you feel on the whole Christmas thing. So we're in that boat together more or less. Just think though in a year or 2 or so Madison will be a little older and hopefully more into Christmas.

    As for the whole college thing (which as you know I have 0 experience with) just take it 1 day at a time. Just like you should take life. Don't try to do so much at once or think about so much at once. Prioritize yourself, make check lists if you have too. That way as you get things done you can check them off 1 by 1 and not feel like you're doing 20 million things at once. Also anytime you're starting to feel stressed about something..just remember..BREATHE Take a step back, and slowly breathe, counting from 10 to 1 and if you want too from 1 to 10 after. You should feel quite relaxed after that. Keep your chin up Dezi you can do this!
    Posted December 26th 2013 at 05:43 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline

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