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Gonna live for me !

Posted July 6th 2011 at 04:39 AM by chhd

So I've pretty much decided that at the end of this month I'm moving to California. Life is too short to be tied down at 18 and shut yourself out from experiencing the world. I'm tired of this small town with all the same people and everyone knowing every time anyone moves a muscle. I want to live with no regrets and be free. I've always wanted to live in California, Ramon is just a plus. Am I crazy to just wanna pick up and leave my life here ? When I think about leaving, it's kinda like my "happy...

chhd

Member

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Phobias

Posted July 6th 2011 at 01:36 AM by dredear (hanging on)

I was told I should post this so here goes nothing. My fears:
-Clowns
-Spiders
-Heights
-Balloons
-Surgery
-Doctors
-Strangers
-Parties
-Old Men
-Public Washrooms
-Dogs
Those are my main fears. Theres more, They are all true:\

dredear

So many are broken</3

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Update~

Posted July 5th 2011 at 09:26 PM by dredear (hanging on)

I was to a psychiatrist today. He told me he thinks I have an anxiety disorder and trust issues.
My foster parents are worried because I won't talk to them. They just don't understand, I don't want them to worry, to touch me, I just want to go home. My foster father told me I was too old to be playing "hide and seek". I will admit, I did hide. Not from them in particular, just everything I guess.
They schedualed daily Therapy sessions for me, I started cutting again. My therapist...

dredear

So many are broken</3

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Don't know

Posted July 5th 2011 at 08:37 AM by Evanesco (Lost in Time and Space)

I feel so odd, I don't even know what to say here. I'm blogging for the sake of blogging so I don't have to do anything else. Because I don't know how I feel.
Well, I know I have a head ache. And it hurts. And I know I feel hungry. But I'm not eating. And I know that I feel lonely, but I have the means to contact people and I just can't be bothered.
I don't know what to do with myself right now.

Evanesco

Linguistics geek

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Better off dead

Posted July 4th 2011 at 11:06 PM by dredear (hanging on)

Tags cops, dead, jail, protective custody

I had to go home today to get something, my brother was supposed to be out but he wasn't. When I got there he was drunk. He grabbed me and threw me against a wall telling me I'm better off dead. After some other things I won't go into detail about happended I finally called the cops. I'm in protective custody at the moment as my mom is "unfit".
Now I wait... :\

dredear

So many are broken</3

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Danny :(

Posted July 4th 2011 at 06:34 PM by RadkeLover

Danny has no memory of me whatsoever, i dont know if shes faking it or not, i want her back, but i cant, and so im depressed as fuck, not to mention people are assholes and need to shut the fuck up.

RadkeLover

Member

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Song with no chorus.

Posted July 4th 2011 at 10:31 AM by Teeter

She feels the pain
Deep inside
With no place to run
And no place to hide
No one to help her
An no one she can confide
Seeming theres no other option
It leads to self destruction
*
It weakens the mind but strenghtens the soul*
After all that you've been through still nothing*to show
But a sickened mind and an unforgiving heart
Tell me, who were you before the start
Of the anger, misery and pain
Crushing...

Teeter

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Untitled song

Posted July 4th 2011 at 10:27 AM by Teeter

Blocking the outside world from my dark mind
Can't last forever
But this escape is better than reality
So I let it take over
Sometimes I just don't want to stay strong
Are these feelings so wrong?
I pull the knife across my skin
Lift the bottle to my lips
Swallow the pills and take a hit
Sorry I'm not good enough to deal with your shit
Here comes the end
I can see it now
Darkness swallowing me
Numbness the...

Teeter

Member

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Random poem type thing. Comments?

Posted July 4th 2011 at 10:26 AM by Teeter

I have to stay strong
I cannot show you my weakness*
Can't show you my fear
Can't show you these tears
As your speach slurs
I see the darkness in your eyes
You pour the poisen down your throat
And out come the lies
You start to argue*
I become the adult*
Forced to be mature
Childhood a blur
I can't remember true happiness
It must be bliss
What does it feel like?
Can you tell me this?
Insomnia...

Teeter

Member

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Please don't make me go *trig

Posted July 4th 2011 at 07:01 AM by Riddikulus

Arghhh Sixth Form induction today....

Can't face school...
Can't face the people....

People are just going to ask questions and the idiots are going to just call me names, I can't deal with it all today...
Maybe it's just me being stupid, i don't know anymore...

Riddikulus

The magic word... expelliarmus

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