Arghhh Sixth Form induction today....

Can't face school...
Can't face the people....

People are just going to ask questions and the idiots are going to just call me names, I can't deal with it all today...
Maybe it's just me being stupid, i don't know anymore...

Thanks mum.

Yeah, I know.

I'm horrible.

Thanks for reminding me.

No one to talk to.

No contact.

What now?

Cut.

Cut. Cut. Cut.

Please. Just make it stop.

I want to die.

...

I'm going to do it... I'm going to admit to myself all my problem... And then they're going to disappear... Everything will be good again... Like when I was young!

Self Harm - The urges are tough, but I try and fight them, I only cut when it's life or death, I get myself low, as low as I can cope, and then I make it better, as better as it can get.

ED - I hide food, I bin food, I pour stuff down the sink, I 'forget' money, I exercise, I will get thin! I can't decide what...

Oh god. I can smell food.
I've already over eaten today.
I need to stop. I need to get out of here. It's killing me.
But I'll feel so guilty.
I don't know what to do.
Help. Help me.
I can smell it, wafting up the stairs.
I'm going to shut the door. Open the windows. Get rid of the smell. Just stop it. Stop it. Stop cooking. Please, dad. Just stop.
Exercise. I'll exercise. And then I'll tidy my room. And write that story. And ignore the food....

So i messed up again. Always destroying everything. Letting everyone down. Why did i ever open my mouth. Now she hates me. i don't blame her i mean who wants to put up with me? even i don't want to live with myself and if i hate me how can anyone else possibly like me?

Don't really want to go back to school anymore. My favourite teachers just left and now i hate every lesson and almost everyone in the school. I have pushed all my friends away. Can't concentrate on work and feel so left...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of online safety in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the Chat Room...

So it's definitely been a long time since I've been on here or posted anything but I just kind of need to vent. I've been in an on and off relationship for over a year and a half now. Kayce is my first love, though sometimes I wish I could quit him. He has put me through so much crap that most girls would be long gone and moved on. He has slapped, kicked, punched, and nearly choked me to death and still I am with him. Does this sound like love or some other sick thing? Cause lately, I'm not too...

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