So, my weekend was pretty great. Got to stay the night with Shaq. He got his hair done, and he looks even more handsome. (: I didn't want to leave today. I wish I could of stayed longer. Oh well, at least I got to stay the night. I am so tired though. We stayed up til like 6, and I had to be up by 12. But I was up way before that, because his brother had some friends over and they were being extra loud and what not. And when I did get to sleep, I would get too hot, then I would get too cold. So...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of dealing with cyberbullies in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PST). All you have to do to take part is log into...

my father tries to control me. he can't deal with me being bisexual, studying Wicca, or just plain being MYSELF. sometimes i wish i would die. he wouldn't care. my mother does nothing. just gets drunk.

Ok so I came out to friends in October and mum and sis in Janurary about me being a Lesbian ...It went Ok. Friends tease me sometimes but they mean it in good nature.

Had a SH relapse in November and January, but after 2-3 weeks I managed to stop. Now that everything is out in the open and I have excepted everything including the fact that I get depressions and that I can be a gay christian etc I am hopeing that Janurary 27th was the last time I will ever SH.

For SH awareness...

So I think I am going to "update" on here every night. It seems to...soothe?...me. So here I go. Today was another great day. School was great. I'm great. My Taco Bell was great.(; My mom is doing great...Okay, you get it. Anyways...of course, to ruin my great mood....My boyfriend's cousin started a rumor saying that Shaq (the boyfriend) had sex with my friend Ashlyn, on Tuesday night. Too bad I was with him ALL DAY AND NIGHT ON TUESDAY!, so there is no way in hell he did it. And plus,...

I am fast giving up on life right now. I don't see the point i can't take much more. It seems like everyone is out to get me. I'm on the edge and there all chanting me to jump. Well why don't i? I have stayed dtrong for me but i'm not worth this anymore. Everyone just keeps telling me what a selfish wast of space i am....so i calved selfish bitch into my arm. Just to remind me. I know i'm stupid and horrible and worthless. I don't need to be told i wish they would just get off my case for once ...

I stopped cutting. I brought the knife back downstairs and into the kitchen where it belongs. But now I feel like crying. It's a bitter-sweet victory...

Okay. So today was an amazing day! School was great. Home was great. Dinner was great. Shaq is great! I talked to him on the phone for like 3 hours & did not ONCE argue. I babysat my little one year old cousin, and everything was just so....wonderful. Then, my "other mom" called and told me that her daughter (my former friend) had another "miscarriage". She faked one about two months ago and expected me not to get mad after KNOWING I had a miscarriage on Easter of last year....

Some quotes, hope you like them! ;

'We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way. '

'If I had a formula for bypassing trouble, I would not pass it round. Trouble creates a capacity to handle it. I don't embrace trouble; that's as bad as treating it as an enemy. But I do say meet it as a friend, for you'll see a lot of it and had better be on speaking...

Saw my doctor again yesterday. She eventually printed off a prescription for some fluoxythingy I can't even pronounce. At the time, I told her I didn't mind if she put me on meds. But now I don't know.
At night, all I can think is fat, ugly, disgusting, pathetic. Can't do anything right. Failure. So stupid you're failing a course you shouldn't even be doing because it's academically below you.
I keep asking myself why I'm still alive. I really don't know.
Was half dreaming,...