I've been posting here a lot lately.

Checked my grades maybe a minute ago. 90 in math already. Almost an 89, only reason it's a 90 is it rounded the decimal. 89 in gym already. My science grade isn't updated but I did poorly on my last test so it'll be around a C.

I'll never be able to make my gym grade up. The gym teacher this year just grades too harshly so if anything it's just going to get lower. And science and math are too hard and I don't know what I'm doing...

Well...not really my target, but my friend Ellie has decided that I have to have a girlfriend by the time I'm 16, which gives me exactly 1 year and 1 month from today.

Item #: 5
Name: Le gf
Set: 02/10/13
Achieved: 18/11/13
Timescale: 1 year
Description: Well, thanks...

This would probably be fine, but when I went on my school trip (yay!) just under a week ago, the bus driver even tried setting me up with someone. Even he failed. :P...

Today is exactly 17 months since Naomi and I had one of the most awkward conversations of our lives and finally ended up together.
I don't think she's noticed/remembered which is good. I've texted her dad who has very kindly offered to, as he put it, "bugger off for a couple of hours"

My plan is to make a delicious veggie stir fry this afternoon. I'm also maybe going to make these:

...

This morning as I walked to my homeroom, I was walking in front of a few girls who are also seniors. And they were talking about someone. They didn't say any names, so it basically just left me curious. They were talking about another senior and how they couldn't let her donate blood because she had cuts. A lot of them. All up and down her arms. The way they put it there were a hell of a lot of them.

So I was curious in a way. Wanting to know who it was. I always tend to look at people's...

I feel so good and so bad. I wake up in the morning and I am overwhelmed at the mere thought of leaving my bed. But I have things to do in the morning. So I get up. And it feels so hopeless and so hollow, even though it's not, even though it's leading to something. And the heaviness in my chest won't go, it keeps coming back. It eclipses all.

I saw Debbie yesterday and it was good. I told her about how I've decided to do the Peer Employment Training with the goal of becoming a Peer...

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September 3rd: BURNOUT: This Labor Day, remember to prioritize your needs at work to avoid stress and burnout....

The waves come and they're big and they're strong, they drag me under, it's slow drowning, it's terrifying, how long until I break? Until I cannot breathe? How long until I snap? Can I make it through? I have doubts.

This hopelessness is overwhelming. I can see the good and the positive but I can't feel it. And it's the feeling it that's vital to wanting to continue. I don't want to continue. I want everything to end. I want everything to stop. I want to be in a place where there's...

The day you were born was a wonderful day for our family.


Our parents were so happy that they at last got a son.


They were all smiling, laughing, crying from happiness.


I wish I could hold you. I wish I could tell you how important you were.


I wish I could love you like they loved you.


But I've never been given a chance.


I was there nonetheless.


...

I'm sure some of you who have answered my HelpLINK ticket once remember that I was thinking of going on a date with this one girl? Well, I realized that it wouldn't work out because of how busy I am. I stopped texting her basically, but it really was accidental that I did. I just was always way too busy to text her back, and eventually she gave up.

I went to her Facebook page today. She already has a girlfriend. She seemed so desperate to get with me, too. I don't know, it seems strange....

Goodbye. Lets hope my plan works.