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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MsNobleEleanor Offline
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College and Working - August 6th 2013, 05:40 PM

Yesterday I had sent my cousin a text message asking her a question regarding if I could use her as a reference. A few hours later she sent me a text message and I feel like I was being bashed and told what to do, that she thinks she knows what is best for me.

Here is the text messages that I received and sent: (None of it has identifying information)

My first text was asking if she could be a reference her response: Her responses are in BLUE and mine are in PURPLE.

What happened to volunteering? I hope working is just for weekends... and yes.
I need to have some sort of income while at College. And its only part time. If I don't work I am screwed to next summer.
What's wrong with next summer?
I won't have money to survive, won't be able to pay bills and rent, food. {assistance for College) covers only my schooling months.
That's why you work in the summer. Just be careful you don't overload school so that during it you are screwed!
I won't overload with school and work.
Okay good because what I saw in the past, you had great intentions, lots of ambition, but the plan was not realistic and you overloaded yourself. Maybe you learned from that? Of course if you do your cash flow (and stick to it) you'll know what you'll need.
Yes ik
Just watching out for you . You do plan to work next summer don't you?

I honestly was pissed with her, didn't show it in my responses but sersiouly I am not setting myself up where I have no money after College is done that year and my College Assistance money is gone. I have gotten my timetable and have applied to a few jobs, 3 days a week I am wanting to work before classes, then one after class. I would be doing about 20 hours a week in working with a full course load. I understand she is looking out for me but I am not getting myself in a money rut. I have bills to pay each month. I'm already almost 2 months behind in my credit card bill. Even with College Assistance (which I would need to pay back) I may need more money during that time. I already added up all my expenses for those 8 months and it's a lot.

It's bothering me more and more on her response. As if I should strictly focus on school, I need a income and after my classes I can stay at the College to do homework (that way I avoid rush hour times on public transit). If she finds out I am willing to work 20 hours with College, she will question me then tell me it's a bad idea. Not hard to request time off work or change my schedule.

I'm not sure why this is bothering me. Does anyone have similar experiences as I do? Has anyone had a bad experience while going to College and working?

On top of it I may not get a job right away once I start looking once College is done, so I am not waiting. I already applied to 3 places which I am confident I will find a job within a month or two.

Thank You

Also to add it seems like she thinks she knows what is best for me all the time. I think this stems from me not having family. I am used to it, been out of my parents for 4 years now. Like she needs to be a motherly figure she said this to me while I was living with her. I am not living with her anymore.

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Last edited by MsNobleEleanor; August 6th 2013 at 05:49 PM. Reason: Added Additional Information
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kate* Offline
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Re: College and Working - August 6th 2013, 06:59 PM

Hey Chantal, I made the choice not to work while in school, but I did try to find a part time job with no luck. For me it was the right decision, but it isn't possible for everyone to do that. Working makes it harder, mostly because of having less time to do things, but most people are working and college is more flexible. I would suggest making a general schedule for yourself to see just how much time you're going to have and where. Budget one hour of homework for every hour of class. A full load of classes will probably work out to about the same time commitment as a full time job (unless it's very different in Canada). I know it got on your nerves, but I think your cousin is just trying to make sure you don't overwhelm yourself.

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Re: College and Working - August 6th 2013, 07:06 PM

Hi Chantal,

Honestly, this is completely your decision and you know that. I personally had 3 part time jobs (and still do) during college. One is/was owning my own business, another as a coffee barista, and another as a tutor.

It is definitely possible to sustain a job during college. It may be easier to find a job through your school (if the school has job offerings) because they better understand the school/work balance. I think that it doesn't hurt to try a job. Worst case scenario, you quit and just don't list it in your resume. Try a light work load. Maybe 8-12 hours/week depending on your class schedule. Just be sure to have a little time on the weekends to relax

It's frustrating when people we're close to disagree with our opinions, but your cousin's opinion isn't necessarily the right one. Everybody has different tolerances and stress thresholds, and just because they wouldn't do it, doesn't mean you can't.

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Re: College and Working - August 6th 2013, 07:10 PM

Hey there Chantal, I have been in your situation before, working and going to school isn't always easy. Unfortunately, we're not all in the position to be able to just focus on school (great if you can, just doesn't always work out that way).

Judging by your age and saying you've been out of your parents house for about 4 years, you and I are similar. I left at 16 also, so I'm very used to working and providing for myself, as it seems you are as well. My assumption here is that you will have no problem balancing school and work. You seem like someone who has a good head on their shoulders and can handle managing their life just fine on their own. Personally, I work full time on an overnight shift, and I did when I was in school too. Part-time should be no problem for someone who's used to being fiercely independent.

My experiences have always been rather positive. Having the financial freedom while in school is a good feeling, even if it's a little more work. I agree with you that it's not always guaranteed you'll find a job immediately as summer starts, so to have one already secure and you can just work more hours in the summer is a very good idea. And of course on-campus jobs always work around your school schedule!

I think you're on the right path already, just keep your head up and keep going forward! Best of luck to you and message me if you ever need support or reassurance

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Re: College and Working - August 6th 2013, 08:59 PM

I would like to thank all three of you for your responses.

Katie: I completely agree with it is harder to go to school and work, it is very difficult. I have done it before and I couldn't handle it because I was working overnights and right after work I went straight from work to school. I was up for 19 hours and repeated this. I ended up dropping a course but I was upgrading and discovered I didn't need the math for what I wanted to take.

Kat: I have balanced my life doing many things here and there, I dislike not doing something, it bothers me. A part-time job will provide me with income and I know I stated roughly 20 hours per week to work. But I can easily change that. I can not work while in school, it's not possible. Once my College Assistance runs out in April, I can not go and ask for Government Assistance they will deny me. Due to I am in school. 8-12 hours per week seems really valid and will check it out. I am looking into jobs that are simple and easy less exhausting and demanding. 4-5 hours per day isn't much when I can work 4 days a week.

Brody: Yes, I've had to learn fast how to grow up and survive in this world making choices. Finishing high school in 2012 was extremely difficult because I almost dropped out. I know more than anyone that has been living at home being supported by family, I've had to support myself and finish high school. I mean it's hard but at the same time I did it. I can not work while in College. Right now I'm not working due to my former job which caused me grief so resigned to take care of myself.

At this point I am being supported by Government Assistance for two months till I start College. The last thing I want to ever happen is face financial crisis which I've came upon many times and the stress from it, it's to unbearable to handle. I'm already behind in two bills right now because I am getting way less money because I am not working. That is why I need to figure this crap out.

I just can't handle my cousin giving me criticism at this point. She has however helped me with my College Courses because I applied to the wrong Program. I am thankful that she helped me. I just don't need her to tell me this will be hard on me. I've been through shit in my life, I think I can handle this.

Thank You for your responses it really helped me

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Re: College and Working - August 6th 2013, 10:05 PM

This is your decision and it sounds like you've thought it through, so like a wise old man once said - 'fuck the haterz'. She's probably jsut trying to look out for you but it's coming across as a bit domineering. Just ignore that - you have a plan and that's what will work for you. I know plenty of people that have worked through college... in fact it's hard to find a student without a part-time job these days... and apart from one or two cases they've all been grand as will you. Keep truckin' (: x

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Re: College and Working - August 7th 2013, 02:54 PM

It sounds kind of controlling in my opinion. You need to let people make their own choices as they are the few to walk into their own shoes. You should make sure you are alternating easy and hard classes so you don't overburden yourself. However, it may be an accidental "controlling" tone where she doesn't want you to make mistakes.

I honestly think all students should work a minimum of 20 hours a week to pay for their expenses. It will also help to ensure they will have a minimum income after they finish school. The economy is not the best and a lot of people are struggling with finding jobs. Do be prepared to say you can't work more than that.
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