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Education and Careers Work of any kind can get stressful at times. Ask in this forum if you need help with coursework, applications, and more.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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im done with school - January 31st 2015, 12:16 AM

*The title is not read in a cheerful tone*

Just to be clear, I still have about 1.5-2 years left depending how many classes I take. I'm not sure why but whenever I take 15 credits as opposed to 12 I have a greater tendency and intensity of depression, anxiety, mood swings, stress, fatigue etc you get the point.

However I'm feeling pressure to graduate "on time" and what it would mean for financial aid if I stayed an extra semester.

The main thing stressing me out is the workload, the impersonal and the grading system and the fact that grades seem to be a huge deal if you want yo get into a graduate school which I don't know yet but keeping my options opened.

I also want to feel a little more free during the week. Between going to class and studying and honeowork I have very little time to do anything else. Plus I took on a work study job. I have a lot of responsibilities in my life and overall I'm moving from the notion that school is everything to school is *one* part of the whole.
I like to learn. I like reading but now that everything is becoming electronic reading I am in constant need of the internet and sometimes I just don't have access to it or don't want to use it for my own personal reasons which should count as something.
I realized I would do much better without grades. I would also do better with a professional who can be my "mentor" similar to a high school science program I was accepted to and worked closely with a professor in a college lab.

It came to a point where I might break this semester because I don't feel up for it. It is a real drag and let me tell you from now. The solution will not be to motivate myself or create a some sxhedule but to take a gap year off. Because I'm not motivated for a reason. To me it is a healthy reaction. If I forced myself to get through the next two years and didn't think twice I would be concerned because it means I don't have emotional responses to upsetting things. I'm simply tired of being forced or having obligationsto define my llife on other external things.


Maybe I'll get through this semester but I sense something bad is going to happen


My major is great btw...i love my major. Im just really sick of the school setting the way it is now.

I also don't want to ruin my option for graduate school.


But I also don't know whether I want to take a gap year off because I tend to become a hermit during holidays. My dad isn't as keen to lend me a mtrocsrd. I'm overall looked upon as though I have free time for everyone to use up.
If I do tale a gap year I want to do the things I want to do liketravel, volunteer, work, gget drivers ed, go to poetry nights, participate in theater or the arts, mostly volunteering and working a paid job though. i feel like i can balancs tht and be happy.
Tight now school and family are the 2 biggest stress factors that dominate my life.
Im not even able to dig deeper into my own life because im so caufht up and busy with details of family and school.
I need to be away for a while from both but school makes more sense because family has to do with family members I know personally. And I feel like I'd be betraying them if I moved out at this moment in time due to the fact that we are tangled in a housing situation and I want to be present since I'm one of those people that is generally relied on during emergencies or close to emergency.


Sometimes changing your outlook on life means changing your surroundings.
I'm not saying I won't have anymore problems, of course I will but I really feel I'm not in a place to be at school.
t the same time, it is one of the few ways I get out and talk to people and my mind gets stimulated. I might stay home reading at home if I don't go yo school. Which isn't bad but I'll miss out on discussions because no one at homecan replace a professor.


I wish I didn't have to commit so many hours. Like if I just went to class and was prepared to discuss but didn't have to do as much work. And I don't think it is a case of laziness. It is a case of priorities but how do I continue with that pursuit. How do I run with that idea.
My state of mind is not ready. I might function through it but I'll be on autopilot. I want to be able to do meaningful things. Things I have a passion for . And if I do something by obligation or expectation of external things I will lose hope and become suicidal again. It happened before.
I was about to post this in education and career but I think it fits here because it has to do with my mental health in relation to school but feel free to move it.
   
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Re: im done with school - January 31st 2015, 12:42 AM

School can become a lot.
I started my "General Certificates for Standard Education" (GCSEs) In the UK in September. I'm doing a two year course in everything from Astronomy to Religion/Philosophy, Programming to French. I barely get any sleep and I'm super stressed however I'm managing to keep on top of the work load. I find time management is key to keeping on top of school. Ask yourself is the work produced is of a good enough quality and if the answer is no you need to allocate more time to education!
I also understand what you mean about the grades too, In the UK we don't have a GPA or anything like that, you get a target you should hit by the end of the course. For example in my English Literature, I got a B in a recent assessment and my Target is a B, WOO. But in French my target is an A and my last test was an E and my teacher will keep making me retake until I get an A.
If trying to balance school and family etc is becoming tough, create a schedule to manage time better, If you feel like you don't see friends or family enough because of schoolwork get them involved. Study with friends or ask family to test you, My sister did these for A-Levels, (Age 17-18 Education). And now she's doing well in her Music Course in her University.

Take what you will from this, I don't know how much of this is relevant. If you read it all then well done and best of luck!!
   
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Re: im done with school - January 31st 2015, 03:25 AM

thank you for taking the time to respond. I really appreciate it.
To get to what you're saying, I honestly don't think time management is the problem. It is the fact that I have bigger priorities now and I value other things instead of school. When I say school I mean university so it isn't compulsory. But there are reasons I'm still there that isn't my own choosing fully. It is partially but I feel like I want to pull out and come back when I can actually dedicate time for it. I'm constantly thinking about what I could be doing instead. To me that's a sign that school shouldn't be coming first anymore. I just don't know how to make that switch or how it will impact other areas of my life. And like I said, it can also get extreme at times.
Because if I'm not motivated, I'm not going to feel committed.
I can't force myself to stay committed and I don't feel like that's fair. To simply adapt all these time management skills that will adjust me to do better in school. That's not my problem. My problem is that I don't believe it's worth pursuing in this point in time and it is stressful for me when the majority of the year is dedicated to school related things. I almost have no time for anything else. It's always been like that. There are so many things that I find worth exploring and school is taking over.
   
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Re: im done with school - January 31st 2015, 08:26 PM

It could be helpful to register as a part-time student so you can take below 12 credits which is considered full-time.
I'm not sure how this will affect your financial aid however I believe you can still receive aid, work and do more of what you enjoy.
I know you mentioned that time management is not your problem but everyone can use some improvement in that area actually. Maybe switching to part-time would allow you to keep going to school and then you can arrange your homework for specific times, being with family and going to things you would like to as well.
It is difficult because there are so many different things of interest in the world and school is not always fun but keep your mind set that it will end and that if you do decide to leave school, do not do it during the semester until you are aware how your finances will be impacted. It would be best for you financially to not enroll in class for the fall and end this year.
You could also look into completing your education through an online school (some of which will give you the same credentials as an offline school). Online school would make your work more flexible and in some cases, you have longer to complete the work than is assigned than you would in offline schools. For instance, some online set-ups have assignments due and it is useful (and probably most common) to create a calendar of when you want assignments to be handed in however if you have a busy week and then a less chaotic week, you could potentially complete two assignments the week you are not as busy.
Just some thoughts. hopefully they are helpful.
Remember, the choice is all up to you and it would not be best for you to be impacted so greatly by others. While family is valuable and essential in life, learning to step away and do what is best for you is important as well.
Take care.

I am going to put this in the Education and Careers forum because I believe your thread would better fit there. If you have any questions about this, you can PM me.


"i don't care your intentions. I just want you to know my self-hatred never took me where I wanted to go. At the end of the day...I can pick at the pain but I can't cut it away."
   
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Re: im done with school - February 1st 2015, 12:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kakorrhaphiophobia View Post
It could be helpful to register as a part-time student so you can take below 12 credits which is considered full-time.
I'm not sure how this will affect your financial aid however I believe you can still receive aid, work and do more of what you enjoy.
I know you mentioned that time management is not your problem but everyone can use some improvement in that area actually. Maybe switching to part-time would allow you to keep going to school and then you can arrange your homework for specific times, being with family and going to things you would like to as well.
It is difficult because there are so many different things of interest in the world and school is not always fun but keep your mind set that it will end and that if you do decide to leave school, do not do it during the semester until you are aware how your finances will be impacted. It would be best for you financially to not enroll in class for the fall and end this year.
You could also look into completing your education through an online school (some of which will give you the same credentials as an offline school). Online school would make your work more flexible and in some cases, you have longer to complete the work than is assigned than you would in offline schools. For instance, some online set-ups have assignments due and it is useful (and probably most common) to create a calendar of when you want assignments to be handed in however if you have a busy week and then a less chaotic week, you could potentially complete two assignments the week you are not as busy.
Just some thoughts. hopefully they are helpful.
Remember, the choice is all up to you and it would not be best for you to be impacted so greatly by others. While family is valuable and essential in life, learning to step away and do what is best for you is important as well.
Take care.

I am going to put this in the Education and Careers forum because I believe your thread would better fit there. If you have any questions about this, you can PM me.
thank you for the response! I found this very helpful and I do see your point about improving time management. That's a skill I can use in my life-not only for school.
I also might drop one class. So I'll go from 15 credits to 12. Somehow I feel a lot better with 12. I'm not going to deny though that it will not be a huge difference. It will just be more bearable i guess?
I'm in the process of deciding if that's what I want to do and if so which one I should drop.
I guess I'm stuck between wanting things my way/being stubborn and telling myself to just go through the pain and to hush up and push through it.
   
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Re: im done with school - February 1st 2015, 03:26 PM

Hi there,

I just wanted to put my own input from personal experience. I took one semester off to clear my head and really assess which professional direction I wanted to go into. I kept myself busy during that time by going to culinary school- totally unrelated to my field but taught me valuable skills.

I'm totally open to you going part-time or taking one semester off. Now is the time to really figure out how to balance work, school, and play and make sure you've got a sturdy sense of direction for the future. If you feel that balancing everything is too much, then of course, one area has to be compromised.

Perhaps you could try part-time status for a semester? I found that taking 12 credits vs 17 took a TON of stress off of me, and it helped me maintain my job. However, at my school, going part-time meant losing campus housing so that meant scrambling for an apartment.

Since you've posted last, have you gained anymore clarity on what you want to do?



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Re: im done with school - February 2nd 2015, 03:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImprovisedStarlight View Post
Hi there,

I just wanted to put my own input from personal experience. I took one semester off to clear my head and really assess which professional direction I wanted to go into. I kept myself busy during that time by going to culinary school- totally unrelated to my field but taught me valuable skills.

I'm totally open to you going part-time or taking one semester off. Now is the time to really figure out how to balance work, school, and play and make sure you've got a sturdy sense of direction for the future. If you feel that balancing everything is too much, then of course, one area has to be compromised.

Perhaps you could try part-time status for a semester? I found that taking 12 credits vs 17 took a TON of stress off of me, and it helped me maintain my job. However, at my school, going part-time meant losing campus housing so that meant scrambling for an apartment.

Since you've posted last, have you gained anymore clarity on what you want to do?
thank you for the response and the helpful insight. The update is that I dropped a course from 15 credits to 12 credits. 12 credits is still full time but it is one less class and I think I'll be okay this way.
I found out that the financial aid doesn't go past four years though and at the rate of 12 credits per a semester from now on, I'll take a total of 4 years plus one extra semester to graduate. I'd have to pay for that extra semester. My dad wants me to take summer/winter courses but I'd also have no financial aid for that. Both routes are expensive. Unless I come up with the funds somehow. So that's thousand of dollars more.
I feel guilty for putting additional financial strains.
   
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