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  (#8081 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount71
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 7th 2015, 04:43 AM

- No, I haven't been good. I don't deserve them.

- He told me y'all were moving in together and you know what? I didn't feel a thing. Maybe it's the fact my life is so crazy right now I can't care, or maybe it means I'm getting over things. Either way, it's nice not to be upset about it.

- Help.
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  (#8082 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 7th 2015, 02:42 PM

I want to spend more time with you, but you're always bisy, that's why I'm often sad.
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  (#8083 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 7th 2015, 03:38 PM

It's been a long time. Yes I do agree on that, but I still miss you. You're the only one who can turn my mood upside down within the fraction of an utter second. Now all see Is you hanging out with these chicks that I bet barely even know the real you.. The real you that I know, and love. From the perfections to the Imperfections. There will never be a part of you that I won't except. Because I love you more than words can ever say.
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  (#8084 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 7th 2015, 11:46 PM

My once low self-esteem is now non-existent
I have ZERO confidence left
The reason I fought the things I was being told and the way they were being said was because I still had a shred of self-worth, but guess what, it's gone now too. I just learned not to pretend I'm worth anything and let people treat me like crap and walk all over me instead.
I will never have anything that I want and even if I were qualified (which I'm not) I don't believe I'm capable of anything anymore, even if my grades prove otherwise.

YOU DID ALL OF THIS TO ME by reinforcing every negative belief I hold about myself while telling me not to beat myself up. I assume you've all forgotten about me by now. I was always invisible; unless I was in trouble for doing nothing wrong. I can't forget you and I can't believe that I let myself believe that you actually cared.

The worst part is you of all people should know better. Just because I understand doesn't mean I didn't get screwed. Too bad I'll never get a chance to tell you that.

It's really that hopeless, I'm really that far gone, and I REALLY can't do it anymore.


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Last edited by Kate*; May 8th 2015 at 02:27 AM.
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  (#8085 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 8th 2015, 01:20 PM

I'm uncertain, but please don't take it personally. It's not you, I promise.


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  (#8086 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 8th 2015, 07:43 PM

Why did he think I'd kissed you? Is this because other people inferred this or is this because of something you said? I'd never like to think that you'd exaggerate something. You seem like a much more respectable person than that...


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
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  (#8087 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 8th 2015, 08:12 PM

I'm falling in love with you.
I want to hold you right now, fall a sleep in your arms the way i did before, i want you to dump your girlfriend for me. I miss you, not just a little bit..
I look at your picture every night so that i dream about you.
Will you be my girlfriend please?
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  (#8088 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 8th 2015, 09:27 PM

If you hurt my friends your hurting me and that's not cool
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  (#8089 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 8th 2015, 09:48 PM

Why is it so hard to put your qualifications/degrees and a list of your 15 locations in a place I can FIND THEM?! I have an idea what I want to do now and the degree they wanted might help, but I'm afraid to bother telling anybody since they'll just talk me out if it. Combines my psychology knowledge, possibly counseling skills so they get used for something, possibly my medical knowledge so it gets used for something, and my legal and educational interests without law school or becoming a teacher. I just have to figure out exactly what I would need, too bad it's nealy impossible to find.

I NEED to talk to you right now, too bad I have to get back in to do it. When I come back we NEED to deal with the depression and complete lack of self-esteem in addition to the anxiety. I need you to believe this disorder is real and I need to admit to you how bad it really is. It's hard to think about getting back in when the depression convinces me that recommendations aren't coming even though it's probably not true. They've probably all forgotten about me by now, it's been 3 months since the last time they dealt with me. That's a lot more than I'm sure it takes.

I'm slowly working up the courage to contact you, please don't immediately shoot me down because it's too soon. I'm recovering, but I'm still fragile. Not to mention I'm convinced that everyone forgets about me or, like he did, tells me to contact them when they don't really mean it. PLEASE don't do that. I'm getting an idea of something I could do that might be perfect either what I'm thinking or something similar. Please help me before you talk me out of it.


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Last edited by Kate*; May 11th 2015 at 06:34 AM.
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  (#8090 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 9th 2015, 12:17 AM

Why?
All this time, I thought you were dead. You wouldn't reply back, and you were... so severely damaged mentally and physically. I thought you tried to end it again... I had to assume that.

But then, I find that you are alive and well. No, actually you're doing fucking better.

But enough of that!
Was I nothing?
Didn't I deserve the fucking decency to know that you're alive and well?
Because it would of been goddamn nice to know considering I grieved and was in alot of pain since I assume you've died. I felt so much damn guilt since then, I thought I could of stopped you. I thought I could come to you and showed you that I truly cared about you as a friend. Because you were a soul who's suffering in so much pain!
Because no one else cared about you back then, I was the one who cared truly for you. A goddamn stranger you found online and became friends with.

Sure, now it's nice to know that loss, that pain I felt was all fake. It was all for nothing.
But fine, enjoy this nice-looking life of yours...
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  (#8091 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 10th 2015, 05:11 AM

Dear Foster Parents,
I wish you weren't so hard on me. We are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Yes I failed my temps test but it's not like I did it on purpose I tried my best and that's all I could do. I wanted to pass it just as bad as you wanted me to too. But all I can do is try to go again and get it but pass this time. I understand that your only hard on me because you care but please take it down a notch. I wanted to make you guys so proud but all I did is make you disappointed in me.
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  (#8092 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 10th 2015, 12:41 PM

- I care about you but you're so obnoxious. It's tiring having you there sometimes when you need the attention on you ALL the time. You need to learn that interrupting people when they're talking to someone else is rude. Also all the sexual jokes you make about me constantly make me feel slightly harassed, whether or not they're jokes. I find it so hard to give you attention when you're not feeling good simply because you look for it so much when you're not, it exhausts me.

- You haven't replied since yesterday afternoon - did what I said annoy you? I mean it was a very vague invitation if it was an invitation so I don't really feel there's any cause for annoyance..


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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  (#8093 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 10th 2015, 08:01 PM

Why did I end up falling for you even if I knew everything would never turn out alright?




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  (#8094 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 11th 2015, 07:50 PM

I want to speak to you again but I'm too scared.
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  (#8095 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 12th 2015, 06:15 AM

Not to brag, but I am quite literally one in a million (possibly rarer), and I keep switching between believing that I will do something absolutely amazing with my life that only I could do, and that I should just kill myself because life will be so difficult for me, I'll never amount to anything, and fighting to fail for the next 100 years is just not worth it. I flip between believing that you are privileged to know me and that I will teach you something that you could only learn from me, and knowing the truth; that I wasted your time and that you've forgotten about me already. Either way I deserve to be treated with respect whether from me or another student, you'll have to learn that it's not okay to treat people that way when you have decades worth of training that taught you NOT to treat people that way.

Academic advisor sounds like fun, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to teach and I'm afraid I won't make it into a PhD. program for anything aside from the GRE issue, I'm afraid I won't get in. I need something I can do well with my differences, enjoy, and use my gift for creative solutions. Either develop my leadership ability or accept that I don't have any.

Back to dark, scary, and dangerous it goes. Don't know why I bother to believe it will work out sometimes.


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Last edited by Kate*; May 12th 2015 at 09:11 PM.
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  (#8096 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 12th 2015, 05:00 PM

I'm filling up the space you created when you left and I am happy.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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  (#8097 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 13th 2015, 08:03 PM

It ruined my life. The fact that you had no choice and feel horrible about it doesn't change that. Even worse, sooner or later you'll forget I ever existed. My guess is you already have. You said that you wanted me to be successful even if it wasn't with you. That implies that you believe I can be successful. That's where you're wrong. The reason I lost this goes a lot deeper and is more impairing than you realize. I know this having lived 27 years with it, you never will. It means that I won't succeed at anything EVER so I'm done trying. I don't see the point of torturing myself if it's going to end that way anyway. I'm not quitting or giving up though, I'm just accepting fate and I'm done. As amazing as you are and were to me, I know you only said that because you say it to everybody you throw out. That combined with the other stuff you're dealing with means that I won't be contacting you again. I've been screwed before when someone else who offered help told me he didn't mean it after I spilled my guts to him. As much as I want to, and normally would, I can't trust you; I just can't risk it.

I feel better so it probably won't last. (1 hour) I can do the counseling skills the way you wanted them and I can be tough love harsh on people. Neither of them feels like me. I need to find something that lets me be myself and feels real at the same time. If you were serious about helping me, you have that and my disorder to tend with. I'd love to give someone else a crack at this because it's driving me INSANE

So far failure is the only thing I've never been wrong about.

I'd like to hear you admit just once to my face that you screwed me. The fact that I can't disagree with you, you feel horrible about it, and you had no choice won't change that, give me the years of my life back that I wasted, or pay off the debt I racked up for no reason.


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Last edited by Kate*; May 16th 2015 at 07:21 AM.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 20th 2015, 03:18 AM

Yesterday would have been our five-year anniversary. I remember last year I went out and got drunk, trying to ease the pain of the fact we were fighting. We only had a couple weeks left after that, you and I, before things ended. All that time, I thought I was right, but I wasn't. I was so wrong.

I wish we were still friends, I really do. I miss your presence in my life. Life was easier with you in it.

I wonder if I will ever stop feeling like this, or if I will always look back at things with regret and pain.
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  (#8099 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 20th 2015, 11:50 AM

Fuck off bitch, just because your life was ruined and you have no heart, doesn't mean you have to blame me for all your fucking petty problems. I have enough to worry about than take on your bitchiness as well. Just leave me alone.


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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 21st 2015, 03:51 AM

You have no idea how happy I was to see you. I'm even happier that you were genuinely happy to see me. I really hope we can hang out soon.
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  (#8101 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 21st 2015, 04:09 AM

The truth always has a way of coming out. I hope the universe will find a way to give me some version of my dream and give fair consequences for everything.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
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  (#8102 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 23rd 2015, 09:10 PM

I don't want to pretend I'm someone im not. I don't know who I am or how I feel


I can do it and I can get through it. So can you xx
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  (#8103 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 23rd 2015, 09:34 PM

You could have smiled at me. You could have said hello. But instead you just stand there and glare at me. You ask my eight year old sister to pass on a message instead of talking to me yourself. I wish you could just accept me for who I am.


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Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 24th 2015, 07:57 PM

You don't even function on my IQ level or remotely close to it, it could have been Chinese for all you know.... and yet, you liked that status post.

Just don't. Okay?

(hey, I admit, I knew it was a real thing but didn't know the word... "Mentalism" learn something new every day! )

The difference though is that I cared enough to look up the term for discrimination based on intelligence. I want to learn things, you just like liking statuses. That is annoying and kind of stalkerish.
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  (#8105 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 24th 2015, 09:03 PM

I'm sorry, I should have stayed at yours tonight. I'm not going to manage to cope on my own but I can't tell you now because you've already gone home :/


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Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
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  (#8106 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 25th 2015, 07:21 AM

It's never been worse. I'm sorry.



"We all have battle scars, Finn. Suck it up and build a brace for yours."
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  (#8107 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 25th 2015, 10:09 AM

You know, instead of telling one of my friends to tell me to stop talking to you, making it awkward for both of us when she tells me, you could have said it to me yourself, I was sitting next to you for crying out loud! And there is no need to be a bitch when I accidently send message to you, I clicked on the wrong person, is that such a crime?!


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  (#8108 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 25th 2015, 03:03 PM

I wish that every time you said or did something hurtful that you'd see a physical representation of the damage. Maybe it would make you stop and think
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 25th 2015, 03:07 PM

;( ;( ;( ;( ;( ;(


Who dares - wins.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 25th 2015, 08:15 PM

When your boyfriend was wasted he had his hands down my pants. I'm not sorry. I doubt you even know.


“You always look so cool,
like no matter what happens, it’s got nothing to do with you,
but you’re not really like that.
In your own way, you’re out there fighting as hard as you can,
even if other people can’t tell by looking at you.”
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 26th 2015, 02:16 AM

Even if I'm "confused" you're still an a** and I'm in the majority. How did you even know that anyway?! Just shut up.


Member Since: September 19, 2007
LHO: March 31, 2008- October 13, 2012

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sarte
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 26th 2015, 03:16 AM

I wish I could be with you now, and not have to wait.



Embrace the beautiful mess that you are.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 27th 2015, 02:13 AM

- Here we go, the same thing all over again. I knew I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. You always say we should hang out and then you never text me back when I try to set up plans. It breaks my heart a little, because you seemed so genuine and enthusiastic about it when I saw you last week. I really thought that this time maybe you meant it, but I guess I was wrong.

- I don't understand you. Sometimes you're nice, sometimes you're rude...I never know how to interact with you. Sometimes I think you're moodier than I am.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 27th 2015, 03:34 AM

No, I don't owe you a damn thing. I'm quite aware that you got me the interview, but I got that job because of my skills and expertise. Not because I was your friend. I did not make you look bad because I lost my job. I made myself look bad because I can't function properly. I was doing a bad job at my job, and I made a mistake. If you were my friend, like you said you were, you wouldn't have jumped down my throat and you would've asked what was wrong with me. Stop listening to rumors. You're 24, not 14. Grow the fuck up, and next time, be sure to get your facts straight before you text me a bunch of nonsense. Kthanksbye.


There is no beauty without some strangeness.
-EAP-

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 29th 2015, 04:31 PM

- I like you, but I really don't want to help you move.

- And I like YOU, but I really don't want to help you pack.

- In my dreams we always get back together, at least as friends. I wish we could be that way in real life again.

- Why is it always up to me to make the first move? If you're so into me, why don't you ever contact me? It really bothers me.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 29th 2015, 05:06 PM

You're so annoying. It's so wearying still having to live here. And I know I don't pay rent and I'm very lucky bla bla bla. But I try my best to get on with my life until I can leave, and this is very selfish but ideally I wish you could all just do the same and leave me alone. We have different sleeping cycles and I don't casually wander into your bedroom to share news at 2am in the morning while I'm awake, so do you really need to wander into mine at 8.30 to do the same? It's not pleasant or respectful. And you always seem to choose the exact moment that I'm in a good creative flow to come in and give out, or just remind me that I still live here. I know this is very selfish of me but it's just so annoying. I can't wait to just be a normal adult with a normal adult life and not have to be in this house.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 29th 2015, 05:06 PM

That goodbye kiss drove me crazy.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 29th 2015, 08:18 PM

-I'm worried about you. All you do now is go to the pub and have pints or sit around and watch crappy American TV... it confuses me how happy this makes you; do you not see how BORING it is? I'd be going crazy living off junk food and beer. I know I'm not to judge what makes you happy but I just couldn't live that way. I don't want to piss away money and good skin on nightly pints and being obnoxious. :/

- You're confusing. Why are you saying all this stuff when we haven't seen each other in over six months now and you barely bother to talk to me. I just don't understand what you're expecting me to say back. If you were really madly in love with me like you say you would have reacted to the fact that I'm coming back to the states. But every time I write back to you you just say a variation of the same line over and over again in different ways. Always about you. Why are you so hard to forget.


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 29th 2015, 11:00 PM

You are so manipulative and selfish. I wish he could see through you. I wish I could show you for what you really are but that would make me as bad as you. He will see you for what you are soon enough when he wants to open his eyes.


Facta Non Verba
Deeds not words
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - May 30th 2015, 01:28 AM

UGH, why are you such a headfuck? Are you always going to have this stupid American hold over me? ugh!


Honey, you're familiar, like my mirror, years ago
.....
I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door
...
...
Níl a shíltear mar a bhítear.
Things are not always what they seem.
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