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  (#9681 (permalink)) Old
Dust and Ash

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 12th 2018, 03:37 AM

I'm not some danger to myself and others, so quit treating me like I am!


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  (#9682 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 12th 2018, 03:07 PM

I know "feelings are not facts" but I don't like hearing that. If I say "I feel like a child is stuck inside me" etc and you tell me "you're not a child" and justify by ranting about your "hard life" no thanks. Thank you for talking to me for 4 hours but I went upstairs feeling unsettled. and I know you're staff but you don't have to tell the manager anything unless I am a danger and I wasn't so I don't get why you told me you plan on telling the manager.
   
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  (#9683 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 12th 2018, 04:43 PM

You have quite the double standards there. Funny how it’s okay for you to do but heck forbid someone else does anything similar or else you will throw a stink. You can leave anytime now because I’m extremely sick of you and I don’t feel comfortable with you being here. It’s so awkward.
   
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  (#9684 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2018, 08:11 AM

I'm surprised you haven't dropped in a message by now. And it's making me feel sad, and bitter.

Do I feel petty that I resolved to not take any more steps towards you and let YOU be the one to make that step ? No. I don't. Because during and after our relationship ended I have always been the one to initiate contact when we have been far away.

Last week I was paranoid that you were avoiding me online and actively wanted space, and when I confronted you about it you affirmed that that wasn't the case at all and that you had just been busy for a few days. I felt extremely relieved, and thought to myself that I should chill out with the contact, not for the purpose of putting space between us but so that you could prove that YOU wanted that contact, instead of me always doubting.

And since then I have been on my best behaviour and haven't initiated contact for... a week, now. But neither have you.


To be honest I would much rather that you wanted space and distance than for you to simply be absent out of indifference. I cannot tell you how many times I have sat on my computer, noticed that you are online and willed you to send me just one message. One "hey, so how is it going ?". One "ey, could we call tonight?"


Nothing.



And I can't do much about it now that we aren't a couple anymore, because you don't owe me anything. If I were to ask you why you haven't sent a message or why you haven't responded to that link I sent you in a week, you would probably say, as you have so many times before, "ohh damn ! sorry ! I did that thing where I read your message and I was going to respond but I was doing something else and I forgot !"


Trust me, I do that too. All the time. But, there are a select number of people I don't do that to. People I always look forwards to hearing from. People I care deeply about and always feel excited when I receive a message from them.



And the fact you do not feel that way (and maybe have never felt that way) for me is really painful. I'm not telling you that you should be IN LOVE with me and that you should be impatiently awaiting a message from me every second... but until just over two weeks ago we were in a relationship for god's sake, one that lasted nearly two years... and I had expected that I might pop into your mind every now and then and that you'd wonder -- how's Skye doing ? And send me a message every few days to see.


I realise too that because we have stayed friends and we left things on a good note, I am stuck in this desire and expectation for you to CARE about me, and it's bringing up a lot of feelings I had when we were together, and I am feeling a little bit resentful for a few things.


Anyways. I don't really want to say much more than that because I'm tearing up. Basically I'm just solidly disappointed.


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  (#9685 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 14th 2018, 01:47 PM

Do you really think I don't know that you're trying to hide it from me?


"Just open your eyes and see that life is beautiful..." ~Sixx:A.M.
   
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  (#9686 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 15th 2018, 02:32 PM

To me: only two days until Thanksgiving and nine until Christmas. You've got this. Now stop complaining.
   
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  (#9687 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 18th 2018, 01:14 PM

I was so excited when it was coming close to returning. I was so excited I couldn't wait to see you. I remember how happy we were when we were video calling each other over summer. How happy you were and how much you were smiling.

I feel like we've drifted apart. You tell me that you love me but I just don't feel it anymore. All you ever do is want to come over for sex. You don't want to spend time with me as a person. You don't even want to hang out with me as a friend. You have no time for me.

I don't know why I let you treat me this way. I've bent over backwards for you. I've kept in mind all the pressures you have, but you never see the pain I'm in.

You were quite happy to say, 'let's give her a hug and a massage' when some other girl was crying. But why not me? Whenever I'm down or upset you never comfort me or make me feel loved. All you want is one thing.

Every week you point out how 'hot' some girl is. I may be attracted to girls but it doesn't mean I'm some horny sex-a-holic who wants to bang every girl they see. Me eing attracted to girls doesn't give you a free pass to say whatever you like about them in front of me. Even worse when you tell me you love me and you say these things.

Do you realise how insecure you've made me? Especially over that one girl. It's clear you really want to have sex with her. I won't forget how there you were lying next to me after being intimate, and then you talked about how she can suck your dick any day. For someone who says they love me, you sure don't seem to care how I feel.

I need to find the strength to cut you loose. You clearly don't care about me. You don't care about my feelings. You don't care about what's wrong. I mean, why should you? We'll never see each other again in 7 months time. Why should you put any effort in? Clearly I'm just not worth it.


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  (#9688 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 18th 2018, 03:58 PM

You think you are so much better than everyone else because the guys drool all over you. You think your stupid name calling that you did after I got out of treatment that did hurt still matters and all it does now is make you look like a dumb shallow b----. Enjoy your pathetic life now because later on in life you are going to look back and be one miserable person.
   
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  (#9689 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 19th 2018, 12:48 AM

I miss you and wish you were around as much as you used to be.
   
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  (#9690 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 23rd 2018, 07:38 PM

It's saddening that I have created an environment where you think I'm going to get annoyed with you each time you bail, even for a genuinely legitimate concern. Technically, if you want to think of it like that, I could have been upset and annoyed with you when you bailed on me for not coming last Friday, but I didn't. I just wished I could look after you but knew I had to stay away and give you time. I wasn't annoyed at you then either, I was just sad for you.

Now when I be genuine and tell you I'm not annoyed you won't believe me. You had to bail for a legitimate reason. It's not like the first few days back when I had to wait 3 1/2 months to see you only for you to bail because of rain. This is a real reason why you had to bail. I'm not going to be annoyed at you for it but I understand why you feel that I would, and nothing I can say is really going to change that.


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  (#9691 (permalink)) Old
Dust and Ash

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 23rd 2018, 10:44 PM

I'm terrified that you might be cheating on me. I mean... think about it. Gullible teenager, still in high school. Easy prey, right? And you don't text me as much and claim to be busy or asleep, but the excuses are starting to get to me. I'm shaking and I just want to cry, but I know that once you answer me I'll be perfectly fine. Last night I almost had an emotional breakdown and you were there for me for a few minutes, then disappeared. I hear so many things and I'm not gonna lie, my anxiety gets the best of me and I start wondering if you're just using me. But what makes me shut those thoughts out is my love for you and our promise to wait a few years to do anything sexually. I... Honestly, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm scared, babe. You have no idea how terrified I am, because this is my last chance at having a good relationship. Love at first sight fucking SUCKS because I haven't felt these things before. You don't understand. I'm scared of being hurt and I'm scared of losing you. Please reassure me that you're not going anywhere. I don't even know if you'll read this. Please. Please. Reassure me.


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  (#9692 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 24th 2018, 02:06 AM

I've been on for over a hour and you still haven't messaged back. Fine. Whatever. It's not like it bothers me or anything.


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  (#9693 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 27th 2018, 07:20 PM

Do you know she messaged me asking where you were? I hope she's told you she messaged me. I don't want to have to be the one to end up telling you. You have no idea how bad that whole thing was. I was so scared to open the chat. Scared to see what the message could possibly be. My heart was pounding so hard. My hands were shaking like never before. She clearly thought you were with me.

I knew you trying to get her to get to know me and be friendly with me was a bad idea. I called it months ago.


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  (#9694 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 29th 2018, 04:00 AM

Focus your hateful energy on something that is REAL, like politics or the climate.
Fictional characters, relationships, and plots are not worth it.
   
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  (#9695 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 29th 2018, 05:39 PM

Shut up conscience. I know.
   
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  (#9696 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 29th 2018, 06:18 PM

I keep hiding food around the house and binge on it. Can't stop crying so much.
   
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  (#9697 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - November 30th 2018, 02:00 PM

I worry about my family so much sometimes. I know I can handle stuff. But do you know what it feels like to have no friends at all, not a single one? Maybe never even had a friend in your entire life? That loneliness can have very real and devastating consequences. And to think that there is so much stigma...it's heartbreaking to think my family faces that from people like you. Thank you. You've made me appreciate the people that do care even more now.


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Last edited by Celyn; November 30th 2018 at 03:35 PM.
   
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  (#9698 (permalink)) Old
Dust and Ash

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 1st 2018, 02:44 AM

Why the FUCK do you not talk to me for hours at a time then claim to be out. Why am I suddenly starting to doubt you...?


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  (#9699 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 1st 2018, 07:26 PM

To the memories in my head.... Get the fuck out. I am trying to rid myself of this past.
   
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  (#9700 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 3rd 2018, 07:13 AM

I really don't like that you're here still despite all of the times you've left. I'm about done because I can't stand you. I've always thought it was weird (and kind of creepy) that you insist on staying despite the fact you don't fit in but what do I know.
Can't even let my guard down because you'll end up twisting my words and making stuff come back on me even though you're no better.
   
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  (#9701 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 4th 2018, 05:36 AM

I'm doing better, but I'm not doing okay. Those are very different things for me right now.


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lay down your hurt, lay down your heart
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  (#9702 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 4th 2018, 04:20 PM

Night Terrors, you can go fuck yourself.
   
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  (#9703 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 4th 2018, 11:16 PM

You are cruel and you can't see what you are doing.
   
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  (#9704 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 5th 2018, 05:14 AM

I don't want to be paranoid, but she got promoted over me without even a discussion when I was there WAY first and this second person can come and go as she pleases and negotiate any number of hours or schedule she wants regardless of anything else despite only having 90 days on me, but I'm still the one with all the crappy shifts and the least amount of responsibility... What the F***?! I'd ask, but I'm afraid of what the consequences would be.


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  (#9705 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 6th 2018, 08:52 PM

I called a eating disorder treatment for help and was scared and left because I was crying.
   
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  (#9706 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 8th 2018, 05:20 PM

I wish I was normal. We could be in a completely normal relationship then.


   
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  (#9707 (permalink)) Old
Dust and Ash

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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 11th 2018, 06:23 PM

You are such a piece of shit. Honestly, I'm done being used. You were the last straw. You cheated on me, you lied to me, and you lied to my friends. Please stop that. Stop playing the fucking victim, because you are not. And shut the hell up. You told my best friend that you didn't care if you did the same thing to me as you did her. Proves what you truly think of me.


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  (#9708 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - December 12th 2018, 12:17 AM

I have no interest in keeping you in my life. Please do go away now.
   
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  (#9709 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - Yesterday, 10:04 PM

How did you manage get accepted after all you’ve done and how rude you are? I suppose some people just see the fake side you portray. Ugh. Guess I’m stuck seeing you around even more since it’s going to be impossible to avoid you.
   
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  (#9710 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - Yesterday, 11:26 PM

Go ahead and play the martyr victim role while rejecting help. You are a stranger to me and I completely get where they're coming from!


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  (#9711 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Say something you wish you could say to their face. - Today, 12:03 AM

have trouble with food.
   
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