Where do young people have sex?

[nicky1]

I mean, where can, for example, teens living with their parents, have sex and not be disturbed?

In my whole country, apartments are so expensive that usually each family only has one if any. I was fortunate enough to have a few of them, but they are usually occupied all the time (my father turned one into an office, my mother brought her mother to live in another one, my family lives in the third one, and others are in different countries, so I cannot just go there whenever I want). We have some summer houses, but they are also very very far away from our town. My girlfriend does not want to even make out let alone anything else neither in car, nor in my or her home, so we can actually make love only when we organize a trip to summer house months ahead or when my apartment is completely free (eg. when my parents go to trip) which is very very rare. I though about hotels, but they are extremely expensive. I cannot really think of any other place that would be safe and comfortable.

So, what are people supposed to do in these situations? Where do you guys find some private space? Any ideas?

The way it is now, we can do this on very rare occasions, like a couple of times throughout the whole year, and couple of weeks we spend alone on the seaside during summer. It kind of kills the fun when it is always planned like a month before, and her and me would both like it to be more spontaneous.

[Aletheia*]

Since your apartments and summer homes and hotels are out of the question, there isn't much you can do. You'll just have to wait until one of those options become available to you. The first thing I would normally suggest is a hotel, but I know that they can be expensive. Have you tried finding cheaper ones? I'm sure there are websites that can give you great deals on hotels and motels in your area. Other than that, I'm not going to suggest finding someplace outside to have sex, since your girlfriend doesn't sound very open to the idea.

[The Goblins Blade]

Try the car? lol

[.TJ.]

Have your gf come over before the parents come home from work, or when they go shopping, out to dinner, etc.

[nicky1]

Zelophobia, what you suggested seems rather pessimistic from my point of view - in that case we would have to wait about at least 5-10 years to have completely normal relationship. Way too much. Although me neither could find a solution, which is why I asked for ideas.

But in that case, do you suggest that people in late teens and early 20s do not have sex at all or very rarely unless they are adventurists who like having sex in the car? I really hoped there was something I was missing to see.

As for the other answers - car idea is great for me, but not to her, she likes absolute privacy for that and I completely understand.

And my home is rarely empty, because my parents don't really have working hours, and only leave home for a couple of hours a day. Even it is empty for an hour or two, my girlfriend lives on the opposite side of the town, it takes her at least an hour to come to me

Any other ideas? Please?

[The Morrigan]

Well, for me I've always just gone to my room and done stuff even if my parents have been in. Is that not an idea you can suggest to your girlfriend? As long as you both have your own room that is. Then just put some music on in the background.

[Sincerely Yours ♥]

My boyfriend & I used to have sex in his truck a lot if his parents were home. Now we just do it whenever no one is home (which is like all the time ).

[TrevorTime]

Maybe my situation is easier, since I have a boyfriend instead of a girlfriend. But we just usually do stuff in my bedroom. Now if we want to do "the full monty", we make sure no one else is home.

[Boobies]

Have you tried a field? You could try going camping.

[The Goblins Blade]

Try the woods

[Bella xx]

Teenagers have sex where ever and when ever they can. Just try to find a spot where you can be alone for a very long time. You are the only here tht can think of a specific place in your town...

[The Goblins Blade]

Well, this is coming from a virgin but all of the posts i have contributed to this thread might help

[Nicole!]

I always just do it when my parents aren't home which is easy because both of my parents work everyday after school.

[Sythan]

We have sex in the same places adults do, when we can.

[ReluctantPegasister]

I guess just whenever one of the person's house is empty. Or at a friend's house (my best friend does this all the time). Or in a car. Or at a motel.

[Aletheia*]

Originally Posted by Giovanni

Zelophobia, what you suggested seems rather pessimistic from my point of view - in that case we would have to wait about at least 5-10 years to have completely normal relationship. Way too much. Although me neither could find a solution, which is why I asked for ideas.

But in that case, do you suggest that people in late teens and early 20s do not have sex at all or very rarely unless they are adventurists who like having sex in the car? I really hoped there was something I was missing to see.

As for the other answers - car idea is great for me, but not to her, she likes absolute privacy for that and I completely understand.

And my home is rarely empty, because my parents don't really have working hours, and only leave home for a couple of hours a day. Even it is empty for an hour or two, my girlfriend lives on the opposite side of the town, it takes her at least an hour to come to me

Any other ideas? Please?

I didn't mean to sound pessimistic. I guess I'm a bit adventurous. I've been having sex since I was 16, and have sex while my parents or my boyfriends parents are home, as long as they're in their own rooms (their rooms are on opposite sides of the houses, therefore, they wouldn't even know)

[Tigerlily.]

Well with me it was either in public, meaning not a house, but it was private for the most part. The second time was in her room. Her parents were home, we just had her room door closed. And this last time was with my now ex and it wasn't like full on sex, just hands but that was in his room with the door shut and his mom was home. We were quiet and discreet.

[Revolution]

Usually his bedroom, or his car. Hahaha. Car is quite common...

[Amberpamber]

I have to agree with the options so far. Really anytime/anywhere you can, go for it, even if you have to have the TV or radio on to drown out some of the noise of your actions. You mentioned you wanted it to be spontanious, well make it spontanious even if its just a quick time here and there lol. I could be wrong (so please don't get mad at me if I am) but it almost sounds like you're trying to make that be the focal point of your relationship, rather than the fact that you both love each other for who you are. I understand sex is great and all but there is such thing as too much of a good thing lol. Just my 2 cents here.

[The Goblins Blade]

When you do have sex make sure you are protected

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Amberpamber

I have to agree with the options so far. Really anytime/anywhere you can, go for it, even if you have to have the TV or radio on to drown out some of the noise of your actions. You mentioned you wanted it to be spontanious, well make it spontanious even if its just a quick time here and there lol. I could be wrong (so please don't get mad at me if I am) but it almost sounds like you're trying to make that be the focal point of your relationship, rather than the fact that you both love each other for who you are. I understand sex is great and all but there is such thing as too much of a good thing lol. Just my 2 cents here.

See, the problem is that we already did that (turn up the radio while everyone was near), and got caught once, so we are traumatized a bit by that. We just need some place which is unaproachable by anyone we know, and anyone in general to feel really comfortable again.

As for the focal point, I did not understand but did you mean I am making this problem the focal point of our relationship? If so, well - natuarlly I am mostly concerned by this because it is (thank God) the only single "problem" in our relationship. Everything else is going soooo swiftly, and this situation just bothers and irritates and frustrates both of us, because we just cannot solve it completely without resources I cannot have for at least next several years.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade

When you do have sex make sure you are protected

Of course, that is wise thing to do, and we never even consider having unprotected sex.. until we are married

[Childish Giggle]

My brother sometimes has his gf over in the afternoons when mum goes to sleep.
Or on Sundays when sometimes we go out shopping or something, he stays home and has her over.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Zelophobia

I didn't mean to sound pessimistic. I guess I'm a bit adventurous. I've been having sex since I was 16, and have sex while my parents or my boyfriends parents are home, as long as they're in their own rooms (their rooms are on opposite sides of the houses, therefore, they wouldn't even know)

Lucky you, I guess in the house it would be a different story, it is more spacious. Apartments are much smaller, everyone is so close, everyone can just pop in whenever they want. We have our rooms, my apartment is in fact one of the largest that can be bought in the town, but still I just feel there are just too many people per square meter in it.. But I am saying this, because an average person here lives in about 5 times smaller apartments, usually with 1,5 times more people living in it (that is the story of most of the people I know)- and still they somehow manage to have sex regulary. I just do not get it how they do it, without for example getting caught.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Sythan

We have sex in the same places adults do, when we can.

Really? Does that mean you live on your own already? Because if I were adult (like, have a job for example) I would most certainly not be living with my parents. But as "non-adult" I just do not have necessary income for that

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Melody

I always just do it when my parents aren't home which is easy because both of my parents work everyday after school.

I wish my parents had fixed working hours, like yours. But they do not In fact, they are really busy just a couple of hours a day.

[cptdean]

talk to your parents, you are 20 and they should be understanding. get a lock on your door, or put a wedge on your side of the door so they cant get in by accident.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by The Goblins Blade

Try the woods

You read my mind, that is something I think is the most possible option I have - to buy a large car like a jeep or something and find a secluded forest near the town

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by cptdean

talk to your parents, you are 20 and they should be understanding. get a lock on your door, or put a wedge on your side of the door so they cant get in by accident.

They are VERY non-understanding It is a very reasonable thing to do, what you suggest. But they behave like they were first time in love when they were 30.

I am uncomfortable about asking them straight on what to do, but when I make an obvious hint like - I ask my father to let me go to summer house with my girlfriend - he is always like "Cool, I'm going with you".

When I ask my mother where can me and my girlfriend have a bit of privacy - she is like "Why would you need it, when I was young I used to go to the movies, theatres, bla bla...".

Hell, when I ask them both if me and my girlfriend can stay alone at least during the New Year's eve, while they are away - they say "Surely, you won't mind looking after you sister". And of course, they leave us with her. Or bring me grandmother. Or anything you may imagine - just so that I don't get to be alone in my home.

Sometimes, I think they do it intentionally

[Justin Bieber]

What about....
-Grab a blanket and have sex outside (in a secluded place)
-Have her over late at night when your parents are asleep
-Have sex on the floor (less noise)
-Go to her house?
-The hood of your car
-Sleeping compartment on a train (maybe less expensive than a hotel room?)
-On a trail for hiking? Bring a tent/blankets (go camping?)
-On the roof? (Can you get to it?)

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Santa

What about....
-Grab a blanket and have sex outside (in a secluded place)
-Have her over late at night when your parents are asleep
-Have sex on the floor (less noise)
-Go to her house?
-The hood of your car
-Sleeping compartment on a train (maybe less expensive than a hotel room?)
-On a trail for hiking? Bring a tent/blankets (go camping?)
-On the roof? (Can you get to it?)

That is something I want to hear - interesting ideas!

But let's see:
- Secluded place outdoors is impossible because of the climate where we live in, it is freezingly cold most of the time
- Late at night - nice idea really, but not really possible, my parents would hear this, I am sure
- We do have sex on the floor most of the time, not just because of the noise but would be impossible if someone was around which is almost always the case.
- Her house - her mother is retired and is there 100% of the time
- Hood of my car - hehe - I'd rather have it inside the car, and I'd do it gladly, but she is very uncomfortable about such an idea. For me, it would be a perfert solution really.
- Train - nice one, haven't thought of that one before! but if I had that much time then I'd go for a whole weekend with her to the aparment in the other country. Unfortunately, we have just a couple of hours free a day, not whole day(s). Plus, train ride to there would be just as expensive as the hotel room.
- Camping - also original idea, but also hard one to pull out in practice
- On the roof - hahhahhahah during moments of dispair, that's exactly what I thought - "I'm going to the roof, and that's it"

[The Morrigan]

Perhaps she could try speaking to her mother? You said your parents aren't very understanding but perhaps hers would be.

[FillingWithHope]

It is hard to have sex as a teen when you don't have much freedom. You either have to do it when your parents won't be home, wait, or try your car lol. Good Luck!

[Justin Bieber]

Does her mom care?
What if you just have sex and not stop if your parents come in? They might get the message.

What about... quickies? I mean, you can do enough foreplay to not spend a whole lot of time having sex, so no one could walk in.

[.TJ.]

If you're 20, just lock your door and do it. Of if you are worried, do it late at night when they're in bed.


How old is your gf?

[The Goblins Blade]

Just enjoy yourself

[pinklottie]

Cant u go to her house ?? Me and ma bf have sex when his dad and his girlfriend are in so is his sister so i say just lock the door

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Capt'n Cara

Perhaps she could try speaking to her mother? You said your parents aren't very understanding but perhaps hers would be.

I actually know her mother very well. And she really likes me very much. But she is even less understanding about that than my parents. At least, as far as her home is concerned, because she does allows my girlfriend to sleep over at my place when my parents are away.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by augustanagirl94

It is hard to have sex as a teen when you don't have much freedom. You either have to do it when your parents won't be home, wait, or try your car lol. Good Luck!

I have never known how true that was until now But what is worse is that we are no longer really teens, I already have an income on my own and go to college, but because of extremely poor standard in our country my income is just not enough for anything. It would take me about 150 years to buy a home with it My parents will let us live on our own eventually, and provide us with jobs and home, but only when me and my girlfriend get married, but it won't be until next at least 3-4 years.

[nicky1]

Originally Posted by Santa

Does her mom care?
What if you just have sex and not stop if your parents come in? They might get the message.

What about... quickies? I mean, you can do enough foreplay to not spend a whole lot of time having sex, so no one could walk in.

Hahahahaha, I totally like your spirit! Well they did come in and we didn't stop once - and it was such an awkward and embarassing situation, neither of us would want it to happen again

Quickies are really my favourite, even if we had all the time and space in the world But unfortunately, without at least an hour long foreplay it wouldn't be too pleasurable for her, and I care how she feels more that I care about how I feel really.