TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar

You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Baxter Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Baxter's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: NYC

Posts: 102
Points: 8,366, Level: 13 Points: 8,366, Level: 13 Points: 8,366, Level: 13
Level up: 40% Level up: 40% Level up: 40%
Join Date: September 17th 2011

Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 02:51 AM

Hey TH -

So. How 'right' is it to date two people, or even more, at once?

I met two girls around the same time, have been on 2-3 dates with both of them. Honestly they're both just 'kind of a fling'. It's early, they're both pretty coy about referring to a relationship, and I'm not going to bring it up. I do like one less than the other, as kind of a safety net I guess. I'm not really looking for any long term relationship, but I don't want to go so far as to make a girl think I'm cheating on her. At what point am I? When a girl refers to me as her boyfriend?
                   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Angel Offline
The final horcrux
I've been here a while
********
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Slytherin Common Room

Posts: 1,393
Points: 23,828, Level: 22 Points: 23,828, Level: 22 Points: 23,828, Level: 22
Level up: 36% Level up: 36% Level up: 36%
Blog Entries: 66
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 03:12 AM

It's really up to you to determine that by your own morals. Personally, I find nothing wrong with it as long as all the parties involved are completely aware and understanding of the situation. As long as you make it clear to them that it is casual dating and that you are not looking to get into a monogamous relationship, it's all good. It's not cheating if it's agreed to.


"Years ago, I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices."

  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Daivia Offline
Why Hussie? Why?
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Daivia's Avatar
 
Name: Maeve
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: The Peach State

Posts: 854
Points: 13,420, Level: 16 Points: 13,420, Level: 16 Points: 13,420, Level: 16
Level up: 86% Level up: 86% Level up: 86%
Blog Entries: 13
Join Date: July 30th 2011

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 03:32 AM

I'm not sure... I think that as long as you tell both girls when you happen to actually be dating both of them it's ok.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Harmony♥ Offline
Proud Military Girlfriend
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Harmony♥'s Avatar
 
Name: Shannon
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Location: IRAW!

Posts: 5,720
Points: 32,429, Level: 25 Points: 32,429, Level: 25 Points: 32,429, Level: 25
Level up: 99% Level up: 99% Level up: 99%
Blog Entries: 11
Join Date: March 31st 2010

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 03:37 AM

There isn't anything wrong with it. You aren't in an exclusive relationship with either of them, therefore, you may choose to date who you want and how many people you want. You just need to explain to these girls you aren't expecting any sort of relationship to come of it. If you don't, you are leading them on and that isn't fair to them.











I may wear the glass slippers; But my hero wears combat boots <3 I love you, Lieutenant




HelpLink Mentor 6/13/2011
Pregnancy & Childcare Moderator 11/26/2011
Fashion & Style Moderator 12/28/2011
Social Groups Moderator 12/28/2011
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Acheron Offline
El Tigre
I can't get enough
*********
 
Acheron's Avatar
 
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Location: Laying traps for troubadours

Posts: 1,926
Points: 26,815, Level: 23 Points: 26,815, Level: 23 Points: 26,815, Level: 23
Level up: 69% Level up: 69% Level up: 69%
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 03:39 AM

Nothing wrong with it at all. There's no reasonable assumption of monogamy if you're only dating, so morally you don't even need to tell them that you're seeing other people. It isn't any kind of relationship until you both say so, and if you aren't in a relationship then seeing other people isn't cheating. However, while not exactly cheating, I think it'd be wrong to continue seeing other people if one girl starts calling your her boyfriend and you don't correct her. While it'd be partly her own fault for assuming too much, you'd be deceiving her.



  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Baxter Offline
Member
Average Joe
***
 
Baxter's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: NYC

Posts: 102
Points: 8,366, Level: 13 Points: 8,366, Level: 13 Points: 8,366, Level: 13
Level up: 40% Level up: 40% Level up: 40%
Join Date: September 17th 2011

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 03:58 PM

There is sex involved occasionally when I go out with them, which makes me a bit hesitant. I've jokingly mentioned I'm not a monogamous person, I don't like relationships, among other things, so they should know. Explaining everything and stating, "Remember that girl, I'm fucking her too" seems like it would pretty much end it. Thanks.

Last edited by Baxter; September 18th 2011 at 04:11 PM.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Member
I've been here a while
********
 
Madeleine.Claire's Avatar
 
Name: Madeleine Claire
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: If you'd like to know, ask!

Posts: 1,092
Points: 14,038, Level: 17 Points: 14,038, Level: 17 Points: 14,038, Level: 17
Level up: 25% Level up: 25% Level up: 25%
Blog Entries: 43
Join Date: August 19th 2010

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 08:42 PM

I think if they know that you are dating another girl and they're okay with it then it's fine.
But the fact that you're hesitant to bring up that you are dating another person makes it seem like you are doing something that you should hide.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Angel Offline
The final horcrux
I've been here a while
********
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Slytherin Common Room

Posts: 1,393
Points: 23,828, Level: 22 Points: 23,828, Level: 22 Points: 23,828, Level: 22
Level up: 36% Level up: 36% Level up: 36%
Blog Entries: 66
Join Date: January 5th 2009

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 08:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baxter View Post
Explaining everything and stating, "Remember that girl, I'm fucking her too" seems like it would pretty much end it.
If you put it in those words, you could probably end anything and everything.

Just tell her that you're seeing multiple people and if that's ok with her. It's ultimately her choice in whether she wants to stay or not. By not letting her know that you're seeing other girls besides her, you're being misleading and that isn't quite fair on her or the other girls you are seeing.


"Years ago, I knew a boy who made all the wrong choices."

  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Fictional Offline
Nom ;D
I've been here a while
********
 
Fictional's Avatar
 
Name: Jessy
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: here, stealing all your help =P

Posts: 490
Points: 21,362, Level: 21 Points: 21,362, Level: 21 Points: 21,362, Level: 21
Level up: 20% Level up: 20% Level up: 20%
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 9th 2009

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 08:54 PM

Maybe if you explain that you're polyamourous (as dating more than one person at a time would appear to indicate) and then let them consider that? I know a polyamourous girl with about seven partners, but on the other hand, a lot of girls wouldn't be comfortable with that. Just explain the situation to them both and let them decide if they want to continue it =)


There's always light at the end of a tunnel, even if you have to pass a few bends to see it.



Proud reciever of a glance from Kyo xD

Mada tooi anataboshi
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Acheron Offline
El Tigre
I can't get enough
*********
 
Acheron's Avatar
 
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Location: Laying traps for troubadours

Posts: 1,926
Points: 26,815, Level: 23 Points: 26,815, Level: 23 Points: 26,815, Level: 23
Level up: 69% Level up: 69% Level up: 69%
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Dating multiple people? - September 18th 2011, 08:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel View Post
By not letting her know that you're seeing other girls besides her, you're being misleading and that isn't quite fair on her or the other girls you are seeing.
Why? They aren't in a relationship, they're just hooking up occasionally. He's done nothing to make her think she's his girlfriend, and until they say different she'd be stupid to assume that there's any kind of commitment going on.



Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
dating, multiple, people

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles
- by Rob

Statistics
Members: 96,810
Threads: 160,757
Posts: 1,381,827
Total Online: 150

Newest Member: Squeekerz

Advertisement



All material copyright 1998-2023, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2023, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.