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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

View Poll Results: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person?
Yes, I would date someone I've never met in person. 16 30.19%
No, I'm not dating or I would not date someone I've never met in person. 33 62.26%
Yes, I am dating someone I've never met in person. 4 7.55%
Voters: 53. This poll is closed

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 01:02 AM

I've noticed that there are a lot of long-distance relationships on here. A lot of them not even being in the same country. So as the poll asks, are you dating someone you've never met in person? For everyone else, would you date someone you've never met in person?

This can go along the lines of a friend giving you a number of their friend, you text a lot, then become more than friends, or anything like that, but I'm mostly wondering about people you've met online.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 01:20 AM

I have a friend that was dating someone a state away though she never met him. Very strange time. I personally would not because 1 I am uncirten of long distant relationships ,and though I am friends with people I haven't meet I find actually "dating" them weird.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 02:25 AM

The guy I am sort of seeing now and I first met online actually and the very first time we saw each other in person was our first date.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 02:39 AM

I wouldnt use the term dating....

I would say more like just LDR because dating would require some sort of activity i think
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 03:24 AM

If they are an important public figure/celebrity, of course. Specially if they're married. Would then get my own reality TV show after our relationship is uncovered by paparazzi
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 03:32 AM

I'm Dating This Guy Online Its Not Long DDistance Or Anything We've Just Never Met Before!


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 04:07 AM

I'm personally iffy about anyone I meet online. Here, not so much since I talk to most of you every day and you've learned to build my trust. However, with people I randomly meet online (like on Facebook, or other social networking sites), I wouldn't pursue. One, since I'm in a long-term relationship with someone but if I wasn't, I still wouldn't. I'm an advocate of online safety, and to date someone I never met would kind of go against what I believe in. I'm in no way bashing anyone who is dating someone online they've never met in person. It's just not for me, and it never has or will be.











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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 04:17 AM

I wouldn't do it. It's too easy to conceal your identity online; you don't know who you're REALLY talking to. Even if you decided to meet in real life, that's still dangerous; they could be some kind of crazy rapist or pervert or something. I just don't think it's safe.


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  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 06:05 AM

I have before and it didn't really work out so I don't think i'd do it again.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 07:01 AM

I tried it, but it wasn't for me.
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 10:33 AM

I don't think I would date someone I haven't met in person. Yes, I have had my share of little online crushes, but I don't think they'd go anywhere because I think there's a connection of sorts missing and there's a chance you'll never be able to even meet them.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 11:37 AM

I wanted to.He said no because of the distance. And I really want to and really like him, but it's never going to work just TALKING is it?




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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 11:51 AM

Yeah, i had two. Both ended through mutial agreements.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 12:18 PM

I could never 'date' someone I never met. I started talking to my current boyfriend on Facebook but we met a week after we started sending messages; so I was okay with that.
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 04:30 PM

I think that dating through a long distance relationship is sheer craziness, and when you're dating someone you've not even met! that's like the cherry on the top...
i disagree because i've myself dated one such guy and we were separated via a thousand miles...I'd never met him..!!

and he cheated on me like hell...i never knew what he was doing...in such a case you only have the word of mouth to trust, but that can be easily cheated upon...so i would strongly disagree...as the end result would just be a broken heart!



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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 06:15 PM

Personally, I would never date someone I never met because I couldn't handle it.

I feel like I would turn that person into my "dream guy". See him as perfect-everything I wanted, when really he is not. There is something about seeing someone in person that makes it different. You are fully aware of the person instead of lost in dreamland. Like everyone else has said, anyone could be anything on the internet. I feel like I would trick myself into liking and believe he is something he's not.

I would need to meet him first before actually dating him. After meeting him, I'll be willing to have a long-distance relationship. I need to meet him first though so I could fully get to know him

Being friends with someone I haven't met is fine! I feel like dating is a more advance relationship-so it must require a deeper knowledge of the person. The whole point of dating is to get to know them and see if they are the special one




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  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 07:21 PM

I have, and I am in one.

I believe first of all it takes a certain type of person, with a certain lifestyle, in order for any chance of the relationship being successful; you have to at least consider the physical side of a relationship less important than other aspects, and need it less.

If you feel you have those then your chances of a long distance relationship are about the same rate of success than any other relationship...

That being said, there are a few misconceptions; they are more likely to cheat is one.

Seeing a person in person and seeing a person through a webcam say, it doesn't occur to me they are ABLE to cheat any easier. If your partner tells you they are going to see their best friend, visit their grandmother, get help with work after school; unless you are so paranoid that you go and independently verify the story, they could deceive you whether you were there or not.

In fact, I have found that people in long distance relationships, out of necessity communicate more frequently than those who can see their partner often, thus it would be difficult to have many "black spots" on which to conduct a separate relationship beyond your notice. And as for trusting their word, in local relationships, what else have you got to go on, other than what they tell you.

The other issue I regard a misconception, is that it is any less unsafe. some long distance relationships mean there is quite a period of time before you meet one another, and realistically without a webcam and a mic it won't work out.

Now after talking to someone every day for months via webcam and mic, it would take tremendous effort to lie about who you are; I mean you couldn't lie overwhelmingly about your age because you would see one another, and about your character, again I don't see why it would be any easier to lie about your personality and what type of person you was in a long distance relationship in comparison to a local one?

Considering how many people get mistreated by people in local relationships, and they usually point out they didn't start out that way, and they changed/revealed themselves over the course of a relationship, I think maybe people miscalculate how easy it is for people to hide the true depths of character in any relationship...

When I met my previous girlfriend, who was in Canada and I here, she was exactly how I knew her to be... We picked up little things, but it was no major shock.

It takes trust, but so does any relationship...


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 10:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by kite8k2 View Post
I wouldnt use the term dating....

I would say more like just LDR because dating would require some sort of activity i think
It doesn't necessarily have to be long distance, you can start dating someone who lives nearby but whom you've never met.


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  (#19 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 10:44 PM

I don't think I could ever date someone I had never met in real life. You're not really dating- you don't go out on dates, anyway.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 16th 2011, 11:01 PM

I agree 100%, its much different on here because we get to know each other on a personal level, but anywhere else is just too dangerous. I wouldn't date anyone I've met online unless I'm completely sure they're not a creeper....even then I probably wouldn't haha.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 17th 2011, 03:55 AM

There needs to be another poll option for "maybe."

It seems like a kind of strange idea to me because you can only see the other person via webcam/ mic. You cannot physically BE with them, feel their prescence, smell them (lol), kiss them, etc. etc. Sure you can get to know them and connect with them in a romantic and sensual way, but at some point the lack of the physical aspect seems like it would get to be too much. Also, it seems like for me personally it seems like I would act differently sitting in front of a computer many miles away in the privacy of my own home/ living space than if that same person was standing in front of me.

So, it would be interesting to try but I am not sure how well it would work out. I would certainly give it a try.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 17th 2011, 08:11 PM

With long distance if you mean that they've met and one moved or is going to school then thats okay, but i feel like if you've met someone online and have never met them in person than what kind of relationship is that? It could turn out pretty badly because you don't really know who your talking to over the internet. I would say stick to face to face dating.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 19th 2011, 12:15 AM

I dating someone i hadnt met before in Ireland. He was a really great guy, cute and just a year younger than me but during the school year and the time difference we unofficially split up. I still wish i could have met him in person.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 19th 2011, 01:11 AM

I am dating, but I would never date someone I haven't met.
Personally, I need to get to know the person face to face before I'd go past friends. I need to trust who I am with and not having to worry before anything else, but that is just me.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 19th 2011, 01:18 AM

Honestly at this point, as long as I was at least 96% sure they were actually who they said they were, then yeah, I would. I'm THAT desperate.


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 19th 2011, 03:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dinosaur Trainer View Post
There needs to be another poll option for "maybe."

It seems like a kind of strange idea to me because you can only see the other person via webcam/ mic. You cannot physically BE with them, feel their prescence, smell them (lol), kiss them, etc. etc. Sure you can get to know them and connect with them in a romantic and sensual way, but at some point the lack of the physical aspect seems like it would get to be too much. Also, it seems like for me personally it seems like I would act differently sitting in front of a computer many miles away in the privacy of my own home/ living space than if that same person was standing in front of me.

So, it would be interesting to try but I am not sure how well it would work out. I would certainly give it a try.

man alex you hit the nail on the head imo.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 22nd 2011, 02:01 AM

"Dating" doesn't mean the same thing to me that it does to most others. To me, dating is a time where you get to know someone on a deeper level to figure out if you could potentially get married some day. It's where you talk one-on-one and go on dates (even just to each other's houses) to get to know each other better and talk about the details of what you want in a man/woman. I would like to be close friends with someone before even thinking about dating them.

With that being said, dating online is not ideal for me and I wouldn't purposely do something like that. If I accidentally met someone online or through a mutual friend and ended up wanting to date them, and if they asked me to, I would consider it. I'd have to spend a decent amount of time with them in person before marrying them though.

So in conclusion, I don't think it's wrong, but I would prefer to know the person in real life.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 22nd 2011, 02:03 AM

One of my friends at work has a girlfriend that he met on world of warcraft. She lives a few states away from him. He's trying to find someone that wants to share rent up there so they can see each other more often. He usually drives down there on the weekends to see her.
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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 22nd 2011, 02:21 AM

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Originally Posted by Anonymous321 View Post
One of my friends at work has a girlfriend that he met on world of warcraft. She lives a few states away from him. He's trying to find someone that wants to share rent up there so they can see each other more often. He usually drives down there on the weekends to see her.
Dude its strange I know, but I know so many couples who have hooked up via WoW xD


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Re: Would you date (or are you dating) someone you've never met in person? - November 23rd 2011, 01:38 AM

Assuming you're asking because you are currently in a situation where you're considering this option; I'm going to give you my personal experience here, and hopefully you take it in to consideration.

Years ago, I met a guy named Aaron online. He lived 3 hours away, he was the frontman for his local city's band, and most importantly; he seemed absolutely perfect. He was my first boyfriend.

• Within 3 months of talking online (still not having met) he said he loved me, thought I was the one, had never felt this way, blah blah blah.*
• 6 months in to knowing him, he came to spend a week with me for my birthday. This was the first time we met. He admitted that he had gone on multiple dates with girls back home, sent/ recieved nude pictures. I forgave him.
• 2 years in to our relationship, I begun having severe feelings of suspicion and distrust. This turned in to about a year of arguing, anger, etc.
• 3 years into our relationship, he lost it and accused me of being an 'immature little b*tch' who should have just ended it a long time ago if I was incapable of trusting him, considering he did 'nothing to deserve it.' I broke up with him.
• 2 weeks after the break up, two of his former room mates who lived with him the whole time I dated him, shared with me that he had in fact cheated on me on practically a weekly basis the entire time, went on more dates then either could count, and on multiple occasions laughed at the idea of him 'actually' being committed to me when the topic was brought up.*
• It took me a year to finally get over him.*

My point is, is not all long-distance relationships turn out this way, and I realize I was naive at the time.
But this man used me as a way to ensure he'd never be alone.
When a partner lives far away, there's a lot less of a possibility of you finding out absolutely anything they're doing.*
It's also a lot easier to keep you happy considering actions aren't particularly expected, and it's all words. That's easy.*

If you want to be in a long-distance relationship, you have to be able to acknowledge certain signs, and NOT be in denial when you see them. Some of those include
• Not talking to you for a surprisingly long time period
• No motivation to visit regularly
• If he/she keeps his friends/ family in the dark about your existence or relation to him
• Absolutely any instinctive feeling that something's wrong.*
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