Today's been a funny sort of day really. I woke up feeling sick and shakey...but then that's what you get for ODing I suppose. I was feeling really horrible and selfish. Still do if truth be told. But then the word selfish is permemently there on my arm. Reminding me of what I am. I feel odd. I wear long sleeves constantly. Hiding the scars. Yet I think everyone can see them. I know they can't yet I still panic about it.

My day got better. I had the most amazing conversations with...

I know he has only moved back in with his parents for support, and i'm being selfish but i miss him already. It is so strange not having him around and i feel so alone.
When i told him i didn't want him living with me anymore i didn't mean it, i was being cruel to be kind i suppose, but i feel so bad. He looked so hurt when i said it and it broke my heart to watch him go; I don't even know if it was the right thing to do anymore!?

I'm so confused and i hate this feeling of...

I want to go to the doctors and get their opinion. I want to know if there's something wrong with me.
If there isn't. Well, then I don't know what the hell I can do. Perhaps that would be reassuring because then I'd know I'd just grow out of it. Otherwise I'll have to keep struggling on on my own.
If there is, which there won't be, then perhaps I can get some help.
I feel really ill right now. I'm going to bed.

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