Urgh, stressed, tired of everything, hurting...wanting someone to tell me everything will be okay..but i'm starting to think it won't be :/

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May 1st: MAY: Happy May Day! For this international holiday, observe the work we do every day and celebrate spring! http://bit.ly/IEwgSS
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I have a new phone! Now hopefully those people won't be able to contact me. I'm definitely not giving my new number to my 'friend'.

I'm going to try really hard to eat breakfast today. Then I'm going to hang out with my boyfriend. He said we'd go somewhere for lunch, and my challenge is to eat whatever it is. Even if it's unhealthy. Because I'm allowed a treat, and today is a treat day because I'm spending the whole day with him.

I can do this. I can eat three meals....

I have made it 20 days without SH. But i feel so triggered right now, stupid pictures on tumblr. Why do people post picture that are so damn triggering? I hadn't really had many urges for a while, but now i don't think so. Im gonna distract myself. Maybe i'll just give in. I don't really know what to do anymore.

I have 2 more days of school, so excited, but also scared. Scared because i know im gonna go back to cutting and being depressed and lying all the time.

I...

I ate lunch today. A nice lunch. With cheesecake for pudding. I feel accomplished, because I was struggling really badly this morning.

I skipped breakfast and then compulsively exercised. I didn't want to but I couldn't not stop, not even when my feet hurt so badly and I could barely stand straight, never mind run.

Oh, and then I had a panic attack on the bus, followed by an obscene text and another phone call from the people harassing me.

But, with...

Hi guys. Um, I don't really know what to write but yeah what evs.. I don't understand the point of life as I've mentioned in previous blog posts. One of the hardships we face as teenagers is the constant amount of work and doubt around us. It gets to a point where you can't cope because you have all these adults around you dictating what you're going to do and what you should do. It's crazy - Whatever happened to; 'It's your life, do as you please'. That does NOT apply to any teenager, AT ALL. And...

Feeling worse than ever lately, alone, stupid, urges, scared, need you more than ever...

I guess it doesn't matter though, I don't think people would even notice if I went.. Pills are so useful right now.

I'm the biggest fuck-up ever.
I hate what I'm doing.
Breaking everyone.

I do love him.
I mean, I'm pretty much only still here for him.

But I love her too.
She's beautiful and understands me.

What have I done?
I've fucked it up with him.
I kissed her.
I fucking kissed her and then said she could be my girlfriend.

I'm a two-timing bitch.

He was, is the best thing that had happened to...

It's been a pretty long weekend so far, but I've had fun. A lot of you guys have bugged me for prom pictures, and I promise I will get them up before the weekend is out. Today I desperately want to rest, because I've had way too much fun.

Prom was nice, but the DJ was horrible. Nothing but rap all night, and the entire dance floor was just a bunch of dry humping. So, Jon and I found a few of our friends and went out to the balcony to relax and have fun together. I was becoming irritated...

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There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of living with mental illness in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US...