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I don't want to keep lying
Posted November 29th 2011 at 04:43 AM by Lumos.
Last Tuesday i had a phychiatrist appointment, prescibed me antidepressants/ anxiety pills. Started them today. Didnt want to, they won't help anyways I lied to the phychiatrist just like i do everyone else about wanting/tring to kill myself. Just said no, and tried to look like i would never do that. I just kept on keeping the truth from him. I wish i could just stop lying, and i wish everyone would just forget im alive. Or if i could disapear that would be nice. Im tired of lying. But my parents can't handle the truth, so im gonna keep lying.
Really want to cut right now, and wanted to the last couple days. But i can't because my dad said if i cut again he'd search my room. And he made me give him everything sharp in my room. Im not even allowed to have sissors in my room. :/ And now i haven't cut for 21 days. Almost to the longest i've ever gone which is 34 days. Don't think i can make it there. Im a failier, so why would i be able to make it? I won't. I don't even know why im even trying anymore.
Im ready to give up. Im just horrible, ugly, fat, and worthless. I can't do this anymore.
Really want to cut right now, and wanted to the last couple days. But i can't because my dad said if i cut again he'd search my room. And he made me give him everything sharp in my room. Im not even allowed to have sissors in my room. :/ And now i haven't cut for 21 days. Almost to the longest i've ever gone which is 34 days. Don't think i can make it there. Im a failier, so why would i be able to make it? I won't. I don't even know why im even trying anymore.
Im ready to give up. Im just horrible, ugly, fat, and worthless. I can't do this anymore.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Stay strong, Dionna. You can make it to 34 days and beyond. You are not worthless.
On a side note, I rather enjoyed New Mexico when I was there. If you would like to chat, my name's Alex. Feel free to vm/ pm me any time. I am also in chat a lot.
Posted November 29th 2011 at 08:37 AM by Choose
