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relapse. (triggering)

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Posted July 9th 2013 at 04:35 AM by Lumos.

I relapsed 15 minutes ago.. The urges got to me. Couldn't handle the voices.. i was trying not to, but then i broke down and was crying, and i gave in.. Cut a bit deeper than i meant, hope its not too deep. I can't stand that i gave in.. Hate myself even more. Just wanted the voices to stop, they did but not for long. Now i'm sitting here in tears, wishing i wasn't so fucking stupid, and ugly.
Can't tell anyone except TH that i relapsed.. if anyone knew, especially my best friend i would feel horrible. Here i go hiding everything.
Want to just run away, or disappear from everyones' memory. Not like it would make any difference in their lives.

hate this.
want to do it again..
don't know what to do.
Posted in Uncategorized
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Total Comments 3

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    hocus pocus's Avatar
    You're beautiful, keep fighting, okay?
    permalink
    Posted July 9th 2013 at 04:42 AM by hocus pocus hocus pocus is offline
  2. Old Comment
    Ennui.'s Avatar
    I know that it must be really hard that you relapsed but think of this as a slip up, not something that will hold you back forever. You did really, really well and I know that you can continue to do this. <3
    permalink
    Posted July 9th 2013 at 04:43 AM by Ennui. Ennui. is offline
  3. Old Comment
    [COLOR=Purple]Relapses can be really hard but you can overcome this and get to a better place. I believe that relapses are, at times, a part of recovery. The best thing you can do is try again. I know that might be hard right now but sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and fight through all those hard obstacles.

    You can do this. You are beautiful just the way you are. You will make it.

    If you need anything please feel free to message me. [/COLOR]
    permalink
    Posted July 9th 2013 at 12:56 PM by
 
 
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