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this'll probably make no sense(trig)

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Posted January 23rd 2014 at 01:37 AM by Lumos.

i don't even know how i feel right now.. nor do i know why i'm really writing this. so many ups and downs that its all a jumble. last week i cut worse than i had in a while and i think it might be infected, i put antibiotic on it but its not gonna heal for a while.

the only thing that keeps me sane right now if music. everything else makes me anxious , i don't know why.. i feel as if i'm on the verge of a panic attack all the time.

i've learned recently that anyone that you once trusted is going to leave you alone and some point and make you feel worse than ever. i think i'm going to distance myself from everyone until i am alone so i won't get hurt.

today i've felt like its all pointless. just everything. so fucking suicidal right now, and i could do it so easily right now.. i don't think i will thought, its just so close to me. its all in my hands. life is pointless. i really don't even know what to do right now, i'm trying to distract myself.

don't know how much longer i can go on
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  1. Old Comment
    Ennui.'s Avatar
    I'm really sorry that you've been struggling so much. I'm sorry that I don't have a lot to say to you but please, I beg that if you think you're in any sort of risk of committing suicide or seriously hurting yourself, please do tell someone. You deserve to have support and you deserve to be safe.

    You can talk to me if you ever need, sometimes even venting can help. <3
    permalink
    Posted January 23rd 2014 at 01:45 AM by Ennui. Ennui. is offline
 
 
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