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Two blogs in one day. (trig)

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Posted August 25th 2014 at 03:12 AM by Melancholia.
Updated August 29th 2014 at 04:26 AM by Melancholia.

Welp. I guess is the continuation of my earlier blog. Sorry for posting two in one day.

This day was...bad. Really bad. I'm starting to calm down now, but exhaustion has also taken over from not sleeping so...

But yeah. I moved in. That went fine. My niece was there though because my dad couldn't come. He can't lift because of the surgery. My sister didn't have a sitter so my niece had to come.

It was okay until the goodbye. I know I am probably coming home most weekends, but it still made me sad. Especially because I kept hearing my niece crying for me as I left the parking garage.

I finished arranging things for myself until the floor meeting. That went all right. Silly ice breakers and the like.

But then the next thing was optional. It was basically like a little party type thing outside. Music, food, games. I tried to go but... I felt really awkward. I knew nobody and couldn't bring myself to approach anyone. My resdience advisor tried getting me to, but I ended up leaving.

She and another followed me, but I don't know if they really intended to leave or not. I asked the one for my actual residence hall where the cafe was, and not only did she direct me, but she ate with me and talked with me and I found that super nice, because I really don't like eating alone.

I don't know if I like my roommate or not. Time will tell.

Then something happened with my computer. I fixed it, but not before flipping out.

The pressing feeling kept pushing. I kept wanting to cry and just felt so bad.

Eventually I ended up self harming. It didn't bleed, but I guess I will count it as a relapse. The only reason it didn't bleed was because my blade was at home and I had to use something else, anyway.

I'm so scared something will go wrong somewhere. With classes, my roommate, something. I'm scared this will just get worse.
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  1. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    Glad to see that moving in went fairly well. I know you and our niece are really close and it was upsetting for both of you but at least you should be able to see her on the weekend, along with the rest of your family! I remember the "ice breakers" we did freshmen year in HS, they were weird but it did help get to know some of the new people I'd be around. Glad to see you weren't alone while eating and got to know her a little more. As for your room mate I'm sure you'll get used to her and become good friends but if it doesn't work out maybe there's some1 else there that in time could become your room mate, as you said time will tell. Glad that the issue with your problem was resolved, even I started to worry about that lol. Moving away from your family is a big step so the emotions you're feeling are normal and in time things will get better and you'll feel for at ease, etc. Things will be fine, sure you might hit a bump in the road here and there, but this is nothing new and you've gotten through them before, and you'll get through whatever is thrown at you in the future. Remember you got dis! Just keep your head up and as always if you ever need to talk you know where I am!
    permalink
    Posted August 25th 2014 at 03:38 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline
  2. Old Comment
    DemonQueen's Avatar
    Dez you are going to be just fine. It's hard being out of your comfort zone for so long but you will see that ti will get easier. You're going to find someone just as goofy as you are. Join study groups and hang out in the lounge areas as much as you can. You're bound to meet people that way! The fun will start soon enough. <3
    permalink
    Posted August 25th 2014 at 07:02 PM by DemonQueen DemonQueen is offline
 


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