And now you're gone again. And I feel alone. My sisters both have friends over and I can hear them from my room. It's only half nine but I just want to sleep. I'm so tired.

I've been having some weird dreams lately. I couldn't remember anything I dreamt for a while and now I can remember loads and it's rather odd.

I want to sleep. I want to sleep forever and not wake up, because waking up is the hard part.

I don't want school to start. I don't know how...

You know what, thanks mom, thanks for the help i asked for, the support i needed. I need you here to look after me, to show me which way to go.. You think i'm going to fail school because i didn't get an A* in an exam i did, fail at life? No i don't think so..you watch me become a doctor, because i am going to prove you wrong, you are so wrong about me. So what if i get a few A's and A* instead of all A*s, i will still do this, do better than you did at school because i've learnt from your mistakes...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topics of puberty and growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US time (PDT). All you have to do to take part is log into the...

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For those of you who haven't been following our Social Networking pages, this is what we've been posting about over the last month:

April 3rd: PROTECT: As summer approaches for many of us, be smart and follow these tips to reduce your risks of skin cancer: http://bit.ly/goNKko
...

I'm going to join the review game on the DG forum. Then I'm going to have a shower and redress my arm. Then I'm going to finish my history homework. Then I'm going to clean out my guinea pigs. Then I'm going to do my IT work and then I'm going to go for a walk with Claire.

I'm going to get out of the house. I'm going to go for a walk and feel some fresh air.

And then I'm going to do some writing. Cut this endless list down a bit.

Perhaps I'll write that...

No one reads the shit I post. I don't blame them. I wouldn't.

I'm sick of this. I really am.

Thing is, I don't even feel sad. Not really. Not like depressed or anything.

I just feel empty. I just feel like there's no point doing anything any more.

I still do stuff. When people look at me. When people see me.

I'll work, I'll play, I'll smile.

But I rarely write any more. I don't play guitar. I don't cuddle my...

I can't do this...I'm too young at the moment to decide, I wanted so much more from life, but i've gone and ruined it... everything is over. He said i'm just in a bad place at the moment, and when i'm thinking clearly, i will know he is right. But i don't know to be honest.
He wants things to turn out differently to me, he wants this to happen, he wants me to stay with him forever. I'm so confused with what i want...i'm fifteen, he can't expect me to know want i want to do about things......

My arm aches and I wish that the holidays would last longer. I'm scared for my exams.

I don't want to go out today but my boyfriend expects me to. And so does my sister.

I want to curl up and go to sleep but I can't. I've been sleeping really rough recently.

...

I keep trying and everything keeps going wrong. I'm sick of it all.

He keeps telling me to stop. He keeps telling me that everything will be fine. We'll take it one day at a time and I'll never cut again.

Fuck you. I know I will. I know I'll crack again. And maybe I don't care if I do. Maybe I'm just sick of everything and I don't care that I'm scarring myself, that I'm hurting myself.

My arm aches so bad. The cuts are the worst they've ever been. I want...