I'm A Little Bit Late, But Merry Christmas Everyone!

Fat, stupid, useless. Not working. Not doing anything worth doing. Stupid girl. You don't deserve to live. Seriously, you don't. You're so fat. And ugly. And unlovable.

Christmas was ok. Pretended im happy, and better. It all just seemed like a blur. Too much happy people. I almost tricked myself for a while that i was happy. I don't think im ever going to get better. I wish i was. Felt so low yesterday. ive felt like that all of last week too. I was (somewhat) a little happier for about 2 weeks. I actually believed i would get better. yeah right, i don't think im ever gonna be better or happy.
All i wanted to do yesterday was to be alone and cut. I didnt....

Haven't posted in awhile...
That makes me feel that I put a pause on my life. This blog is the only thing that listens to me...
Now, let's see...

Three days so far. Three days ago Jose Esquivel asked me out. It's going good...
Truthfully though. He's the only one I talk to. The only one I text 24/7 . I hate it.
I text other people too. But their all guys. They are all my friends. But even still, I feel like such a whore.

Speaking of friends,...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of facing the challenges of growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US...

Not sure what to think!
I haven't cut... That's a good thing right?
But I was sad.
Lonely.
Afraid.
I needed to do something.
I'm screwed my stomach up to say the least.
I sat there scratching away.
Parts of it bled.
And I feel like I've let myself down.
It was either 3 or 4 months
months!
And I go do this.
I don't know whether to keep counting.
It wasn't with a blade.
I was meant to keep my nail blunt anyway....