So far today has been really good. I met my little sister Ally for the first time, my parents gave her up when she was born. She is the cutest little kid. She has this moose thing and we played "dress up" with that for awhile. I'm trying to actually build a relationship with her because she is my sister. I didn't tell her about my brother or my dad, she's only nine.

so i have been thinking alot about everything everyone has said and i want to thank you for taking the time to just say hi. i have also thought again about how much i want to die. i'm ready to say good bye. yesterday i attempted to overdose, i took 2 caffeine pills, 6 tylenol, 5 benadryl, 2 nyquil, and 3 aspirin. i felt sick and almost puked. i stayed up until 11:30 writing in my journel before the benadryl and nyquil kicked in and i passed out.
i wish to God that it had worked. i prayed...

I went to counseling yesterday. Met the lady who im going to be seeing for 6 or more months. Her name is Jill. she is nice enough. She told me i can't stop going to her unless i stop cutting and havent cut for 6 months.And i have to be happy again. Thats never gonna happen. She asked if i have thought about or attempted suicide i said no. I sort of wish i had told her the truth but i couldnt. She would have to tell my parents. They can't know about it. They wouldnt understand.

I...