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I just can't take it. *strong lang* *trig*

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Posted September 13th 2012 at 03:19 AM by escape♥
Updated September 13th 2012 at 03:26 AM by escape♥

I'm am so stressed out. Its only the 3rd week of school, and already I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind rather quickly. Every. Single. Day. is a fucking struggle. A struggle to try and stay positive, a struggle to not act out any SH or ED urges, a struggle to get through school material, just a fucking struggle. For everything. It feels like nothing is going to be easy, ever again.

I thought I could trust that my relationship with E would be the one easy thing in my life, but even now that's turned into a struggle.
I'm working my butt off on homework right after school, so I can get my dinner, chores, etc done before a certain time so we can talk on the phone or video chat, and today I needed to get some sleep, and I overslept and now we don't get to talk tonight. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. He's the only one who can make me truly happy, he's the love of my life and my rock. I don't know what I would do without him.

I hardly ever get to see him, and when I do it's brief and riddled with people. Both are parent's are freaking out and think we're going to start having sex because he's 18. Um, no. We're not having sex yet.

Failed a chemistry quiz and a world history test. Great. My world history teacher is crazy. I hate that class.
In 2 of my classes today our class got yelled and lectured at. In 1 class because we had low test scores, and in 1 because we got the wrong results on a lab, and had to re-do the whole lab over again.

On top of THAT, E wants to go to the homecoming dance of our home highschool. Which means last weekend I spent saturday dress shopping, and this weekend I have to find other stuff because the dance is saturday the 22nd I think.

I don't see any of my good friends anymore, I don't see E anymore. I feel so alone..
Every class is hard, every day is hard. I cry almost every single/other day.
I don't know. But I put on my smile, and get through each and every day. I don't know.
I'm so tired of everything, and I just plain tired too.
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