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I just can't take it. *strong lang* *trig*
Posted September 13th 2012 at 03:19 AM by escape♥
Updated September 13th 2012 at 03:26 AM by escape♥
Updated September 13th 2012 at 03:26 AM by escape♥
I'm am so stressed out. Its only the 3rd week of school, and already I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind rather quickly. Every. Single. Day. is a fucking struggle. A struggle to try and stay positive, a struggle to not act out any SH or ED urges, a struggle to get through school material, just a fucking struggle. For everything. It feels like nothing is going to be easy, ever again.
I thought I could trust that my relationship with E would be the one easy thing in my life, but even now that's turned into a struggle.
I'm working my butt off on homework right after school, so I can get my dinner, chores, etc done before a certain time so we can talk on the phone or video chat, and today I needed to get some sleep, and I overslept and now we don't get to talk tonight. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. He's the only one who can make me truly happy, he's the love of my life and my rock. I don't know what I would do without him.
I hardly ever get to see him, and when I do it's brief and riddled with people. Both are parent's are freaking out and think we're going to start having sex because he's 18. Um, no. We're not having sex yet.
Ugh.
Failed a chemistry quiz and a world history test. Great. My world history teacher is crazy. I hate that class.
In 2 of my classes today our class got yelled and lectured at. In 1 class because we had low test scores, and in 1 because we got the wrong results on a lab, and had to re-do the whole lab over again.
On top of THAT, E wants to go to the homecoming dance of our home highschool. Which means last weekend I spent saturday dress shopping, and this weekend I have to find other stuff because the dance is saturday the 22nd I think.
I don't see any of my good friends anymore, I don't see E anymore. I feel so alone..
Every class is hard, every day is hard. I cry almost every single/other day.
I don't know. But I put on my smile, and get through each and every day. I don't know.
I'm so tired of everything, and I just plain tired too.
I thought I could trust that my relationship with E would be the one easy thing in my life, but even now that's turned into a struggle.
I'm working my butt off on homework right after school, so I can get my dinner, chores, etc done before a certain time so we can talk on the phone or video chat, and today I needed to get some sleep, and I overslept and now we don't get to talk tonight. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. He's the only one who can make me truly happy, he's the love of my life and my rock. I don't know what I would do without him.
I hardly ever get to see him, and when I do it's brief and riddled with people. Both are parent's are freaking out and think we're going to start having sex because he's 18. Um, no. We're not having sex yet.
Ugh.
Failed a chemistry quiz and a world history test. Great. My world history teacher is crazy. I hate that class.
In 2 of my classes today our class got yelled and lectured at. In 1 class because we had low test scores, and in 1 because we got the wrong results on a lab, and had to re-do the whole lab over again.
On top of THAT, E wants to go to the homecoming dance of our home highschool. Which means last weekend I spent saturday dress shopping, and this weekend I have to find other stuff because the dance is saturday the 22nd I think.
I don't see any of my good friends anymore, I don't see E anymore. I feel so alone..
Every class is hard, every day is hard. I cry almost every single/other day.
I don't know. But I put on my smile, and get through each and every day. I don't know.
I'm so tired of everything, and I just plain tired too.
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