Have placement today. Tired. Just spent the last ten minutes picking drops of dried blood off my arm. Cut 'DIE' into it last night. Still hurts. I hurt. Don't want to deal with this. So many nightmares. Keep dreaming that someone wants to get me. First time it was Voldemort, second time it was some bloke called Fred who had a sister called Stacey. Except he was black and his sister was white. Might sound funny but in both dreams these people wanted me dead. They were hunting me

I keep having nightmares about my family. Friday night I dreamt I was at a family dinner when my dad's sister came up behind me and whispered that unless I told the family everything, she would. It'd be worse that way. I said something back to her that made perfect sense at the time but I don't even remember it now. I just know it was my way of standing up to her and saying "Hell no, you're not doing this to me again."
It still really scared me and I knew that what she wanted me

Supposed to be going to placement today. Actually just going for a walk till everyone's left and coming back home. Can't handle it today. Will go back next wednesday.
So tired. So fucked up. Was dreaming about cutting. About people being able to see me. I was in my old house (why do I keep dreaming about that?) and it was dark outside. I'm a little obsessive about not having gaps in the blinds when it's dark out because I panic about seeing something. In the dream, every time I fixed