Worse and worse
I fail at all I do.
A blessing or a curse?
I love you.
But my heart broke in two.
Was all we said..
Really just words to you?
Empty words.
Heart shattered
Feel used, Feel misplaced.
I didnt even matter.
I guess its done.
Can you tell? But you dont care about my tears.
This is nothing, This makes me noone.
Watch me turn around.
Say goodbye, a final time darling.
I cant look back, my word...

I want to die.
Not just because I'm miserable, but because.I'm sad all the time and I have become a burden for everyone. And if I was dead, it would be a giant lift off of everyones shoulder.
I never wanted it to be like this.
I just want to be happy.
I don't think I ever gone at least two months without being happy. I've been angry. And even emotionless. But never happy for too long. It's...

It's wrong. So, so wrong.
Nolan is right. I am crazy. I do have crazy problems.
But it's not my fault. I know it isn't. If my mother didn't drink and do drugs while she was pregnant with me, maybe I could have been normal.
I. Could. Have. Been. Normal.
Then I would have friends. Lots of friends.
Or maybe I do have friends.
Their just not involved with Drama.
And that feels so good.
But I am not safe.
The kids in Drama hate me. They are all...

I'm not as low as I was yesterday. And I'm definitely not high. And I think I'm lower than "normal". So I guess - low. Just not as severely today. Which leads me to believe that the severity yesterday was reactive. Good to know.

I ate a whole pizza last night. I should feel bad about that, and I think under regular circumstances, I would . . . but I don't. I just . . . don't, which is kind of confusing. I'll probably feel totally shit when I weigh myself, but currently,...

Charge: Unlawfully takes motor vehicle
Plea: guilty (changed it, couldn't be bothered fighting my way through the court process)
Sentence: 80 hours community work, 12 months supervision with a court order to do personal skills counselling.

Well fuck that.
If they make me see somebody different through probation, I'm just not going to go. I'm already involved in mental health services, I shouldn't have to see extra services that are basically the same thing. ...

I need to get away from this away from the insults the screaming.

I know she's right, I'm pathetic and stupid and deserve it but I hate it, I don't need reminding constantly. My parents would do anything to get rid of me, I can't help being a failure a disappointment, I'm sorry.. :/

Goodbye..

That's right, today Jon graduated from high school with honors and with straight A's and B's all year. The cord on his neck represents 4 years of dedication to the ROTC program, in which he earned several ribbons, medals, and awards, and was also a flight captain. He also had many awards from the ROTC summer leadership school program, but he has strayed away from his plans to go into the military; instead he is going to study computer technology.

High school finished, so what's the...

I am trying so hard.
I really am. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but I am hanging in there for all dear life.
But, there are always people that need help. Those people on the forums talking about how they are so close to over dosing, or cutting again, or spiraling in their eating disorder, etc. I don't care if I die, or if I go back to my old habits, I just want to help them. They deserve it. But I am starting to realize that no matter what I tell them, or what advice I give them,...

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TeenHelp Newsletter #27 - June 16th 2012 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming events, short...