As A Child, Played With Female Barbies = Still Female.

I have to admit it, as a child I was the one who played the female with barbies, I was the one that had all the little children and was constantly choosing all the cute clothing. And apparently for my friend, that is enough to say that I am a female

But, in my defense... I only owned about two different male dolls, which were either broken or lost. And besides, the girls had better clothing!

Another...

Half past 11 at night. Current temperature: 8 degrees celsius. Predicted overnight low: 1 degree celsius. Temperatures over the last week overnight: averaged 11-13 degrees celsius.

Yup, I am totally feeling the cold, and tomorrow I will check on the MetService website to see what the low actually ended up being.

I haven't smoked any tobacco in the last 24 hours. This wasn't intentional, it just happens to be that I've been occupied doing other stuff, like mowing the...

Ok, so one of the younger users posted on his profile that he has "an adult IQ of 102" at the age of 14. Now, I don't know what my IQ was at 14, but I know it was comfortably in the gifted range when I did a neuropsych when I was 12 or 13.

So out of curiosity, I googled online IQ tests. As you do.
IQ Test Labs came up. I did the test. 27 out of 30 correct, 90%, IQ of 132: Gifted.
Stanford-Binet IQ of 134, Cattell IQ of 151.
Suck on that.

...

This is basically about my friend… And I think she's finally in some shape or form, understanding me. Understanding my position in gender and sex and how I am George and that I am male, and that I might not be the most manly male ever, that I still am male.

Like with the "Why George?" Blog thing, she's gotten that I have a name and that name is not my female name and was even interested in it and about finding another could be name, through I think I'll stick with George,...

After a few weeks, you sort of forget the rush. The insane feeling of, I'm so amazing, that I can hurt myself, and even though I feel the pain (because I don't dissociate), it's nothing. It's like, it's like being powerful. It's like being so in control that you even have control of your physiological responses to pain. Pain? Give it to me, I can handle it, because that is simply how awesome I am.

And the blood? Oh yeah, the blood. Strong enough and resilient enough that I can bleed,...

Having such a crappy few days, getting more and more ill, losing everyone close to me, i was supposed to go to a party last night but i couldn't face the people, the judging.

We're starting to look at unis and our personal statements tommorrow, i'm kind of excited. I can't wait to just get away from home, away from the people that hurt me so much :/

I would love to be able to tell people that their art work simply isn't that great, without being mean, or being a troll. I'd love to offer some constructive criticism, but I'm worried that if I do, it could either upset the OP or possibly upset mods.

The problem is, I have a private art-school education (part thereof, I dropped out due to stress.), and my standards for what constitutes "good" are therefore rather higher than others' standards might be. That's not to say...

I wait all day for the nighttime to come, and then it does, and slaps me in the face.
Mother fucker. -.-

I was struggling today, but managed to do okay. The minute the night hits, like I was waiting for, I loose control. It's so bad right now, I don't think its ever been this bad.

The urges. God the urges. I'm so close to slicing into this vein on my wrist that I can feel...

So I went out with my friend today, since I wanted to get out and had money (for once). Anyways, we were sitting down in the snack (... this place that can be expensive but serves enough fries in their small fries to feed two). And we come up to the conversation that I'm not totally sure if we should have had it in public, but whatever (I've made comments about a cute girl in front of people who are parents of my classmates, so whatever). And she tells me that she was wondering "Why George?"-...

This darkness, its overwhelming. I watch a figure skating show, and they're so beautiful..all I can think is "I'm so fat. Why can't I look like them?! Why?? I've always wanted to ice skate..but I'm too fat. God I just wanna cut this away."

God. I'm just sitting here. All alone, practically in tears.

I need to be happy. For the people I love. I cannot break down, I cannot die. I..MUST be happy.

But I don't want to be. I want to be in this...