No one cares, no one wants you around Charli.... You might aswell just go...

It's not like anyone would notice

Well this will probably be the first positive blog of mine.
I decided that life is worth living, and i want to get better. I know it's gonna be hard but i actually might make it. I haven't had suicidal thoughts for 5 days. I know it may not be a big achievement but it is to me. I hope the thoughts don't come back. The voices haven't gone away.

Im sick. I hate being sick. Had to stay home. I can't even stay at home alone anymore. Maybe someday.

Heeeyyy.

Apperantly I have an obsession with mustaches and now need a mustache intervention.... Or at least that's what my friend said.... Because I put my finger over my mouth and said "I have a mustache!"... ^^' I seriously wish I had a mustache... Because... it's just... a mustache... is cool.... Yea... I need an intervention because of fo-serious mustachio lovin'.

Lmfao. This is also the friend that use to have day dreams of shaving off this teacher's...

So many pills in front of me...want to take them all, I want it all to end...

...

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Home by myself all day... I don't think i can make it through the day..
I don't trust myself....

My name is Hope.

Nothing less, nothing more.

I'm a skmple minded person.

With complex situations.

I am always able to help others.

Nothing really gets in my way to the point where I'll give up.

My smile means a lot to me.

My laughter even more.

But my friends mean everything to me.

You'll never see me cry,

But if you do-leave me alone.

...

Dear my "best friends"

Please stop texting about me when i'm sitting with you and talking about me behind my back and then denying it, things are hard enough for me as it is. I know you know that, you've seen the cuts.

Sincerely, I can see your text in the window... >_<

I don't even know why im writing this. No one even cares.. Maybe i should stop posting. Im just selfish.

My parents are thinking about taking my door off its hinges. Or taking me to a hospital. (i don't want to go, but they've told me they would take me if i needed it) They probably thing im crazy, and that theres something wrong with me. My parents want me to talk but i can't more secrets will slip out. Im so tired of this. I don't want to talk at all anymore. Maybe i should just...