I always told myself i would be a better person. That i wouldn't end up like him. That i would be better than he said i was. I guess he was right. He said i was a lier. Well i am i am lying saying that i'm ok so that people will leave me alone and i can be free to destroy myself however i want to. He said i was a bad person, well thats certainly true. I am horrible. I hate today. Tomorrow will...

I cried last night and I couldn't stop. It was horrible but refreshing... I think I stayed up half the night, unable to rid the tears that fell from my eyes. I feel different today, stronger! It's a good feeling, just ignoring the bad stuff and focusing on what's good. I never cry, not ever, but it's something I would reccomend, a new start to me, I hope this feeling lasts, it's pretty spectacular.

I don't want to be pregnant but I'm scared of getting plan b by myself.
I'm seriously terrified.
I can't be, can I?
It's low risk.
But there's still a chance.
Am I gonna be a mum?
I should get plan b.
But I'm scared.
Am I more scared of being pregnant?
No, I'm more scared of walking into a shop and talking to someone.

There is so much going on in my head i feel like it's going to explode. Can't handle this much longer.

This week just keeps getting worse. I'm scared that on monday i won't go to my exam. There is a railways about 5 minutes away from the school. I can't fail if i go there. Shouldn't be alone right now. But i am lying to everyone. "I'm ok" Yeah you're so stupid. People are so gullable sometimes....

I've been thinking a lot recently. Every little thing brings a new question into my mind. I'm so confused. Why do i bother? I was thinking loads of people go missing every year and very few are found. So that shows how easy it would be to disappear if i wanted to. Maybe it would be for the best. I mean lets face it who would even care. So what a waste of space like me goes missing maybe it would be relevant for the first few hours then after that nothing.I could just end it the and there would be...

Thankyou to everyone for all your support and messages, you are amazing.


Still in hospital, i'm not sure when i'l be out; hopefully soon! My dad has lent me his laptop for the next couple of days, so if anyone needs anything i'm still here

I hate being in here, it's horrible and scary and no one will tell me what is going on. I just want to leave and if anything happens, it happens: I shouldn't have ODed in the first place :/

I wish they would...

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May 14th: MANAGE: If you're struggling with anger problems, check out this superb article for some ways to tackle it! http://bit.ly/lP8xcK

May...

Dear Ashley,

I know life is tough for you right now, but I can tell you. It WILL get better. I am proof of that. Let me tell you this, it's not the way out. Suicide is never the right way. Angela would be so disappointed and you know what, when Josie has her baby, you will be the godmother, and that little girl will look up to you. You need to be there for her. Things are going to be okay.

Now this is something I need to get out right away. STAY AWAY FROM MICHEAL!! He may...

Was effectively kicked out of college last week. Long story short: There's no way I could have got the work done in time since I found out on Monday that the deadline was Wednesday and early hours of Saturday morning was the earliest time I could have even been close to having it ready.
Still having nightmares every night. Keep dreaming about my family. About things going wrong at work. About things going wrong in general. My sleeping is terrible at night and I'm finding myself virtually...

A/N... If you are a fan of Peterborough United you may just have a heart attack... or hyperventilate, or just be unbelieveably jealous...

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Sunday 29th May

That was the day of the match, the match against boro and hudders, the play-off final, to see who would earn their place as a championship team,...