I'll be posting in HL about this in a few months. But I needed to ramble out my thoughts in the meantime.

The suicidal thoughts won't go away. I've been thinking about it most days. Even when I'm happy the thoughts are still there. About overdosing. I have the day set and everything. The time, I'm a bit more flexible with but I do have the day. I still have pills from when I was storing them before. I haven't been sick or had many in my disposal to add more, but I can't say that I never...

I lost her, it hurts so bad.

And I'm not sure how I feel about that.

My new flatmate moves in tomorrow. I've only met her once, and only briefly, so I pretty much have no idea what she's like. I know she's on the med run. I'm hoping she doesn't notice my lack of medication currently. I'm hoping she just keeps to herself and lets me do the same.

I cleaned up the house. Well, I suppose I could still vacuum and a few minor things, but for the large majority of it, the house is my usual standard of...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of facing the challenges of growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST),...

Well, a good day!

Upon contemplation I think lack of sleep has been impacting my mood severely, which is actually what my key worker implied at our appointment yesterday.

Anyway, last night, or early this morning if you want to be pedantic, I didn't cut. I thought about it and I wanted to, but I didn't. I went to bed instead. And my bed felt so damn comfy. I was laying there like, omg my bed is so squishy it's giving my back hugs. Which was nice. And boded well for...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 35 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #35 - February 15th 2013 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of ...

You know what, I give up. Well done, proved my point :/

Even when I talk to epople they either don't talk to me or give me short answers. In a place I've always felt comfortable and like i fitted in, I've never felt so alone.
I'm used to being ignored generally, but lately it's really getting to me. I'm reaching out to people and they either don't notice or don't care, I can't take much more..

It's coming to an end for me :/

The feelings back, the want, the need. I miss it. I feel like I need it. I want to go to bed and never wake up. I want to drink until I black out. It's to much. I want to rip my eyes out. I want to pull the veins from my arms until there not connected anymore. I want to end it all. The pain, the stress, the need. Everything. I want it to end. I'm afraid to be alive anymore, but I'm afraid to die. I hate it. I feel like I did two years ago.

I just want scrape the slate clean. Remove all the bad thoughts from this blog, and create a happy place for me and perhaps, even for others to share their ideas. I want this blog to become something interesting, maybe informative, and somewhere I come to be interesting and have fun. NO BAD DAYS WILL LEAK INTO THIS BLOG!!!! Okay guys, thats the idea, I'm going to put this into action!!

love you all inappropriately! xx

~Brenna