Someone from my real life just found my tumblr. I had to delete my account so she couldn't watch me. She would tell my dad what she saw. There and here is the only places i can talk about anything. Im freaking out because i don't know how much she saw. I don't know what to do.
fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

I don't even know why i even try. As soon as i start feeling better something happens and ruins it. Im feeling so low today. Sat on my bed and been online. Stuffed my face with food. I feel so sick now.

I have to go back to school tomorrow. Im scared of going because we have had evacuations and lockdowns, im afraid it will happen again. And someone will be hurt.

I'm not ready for all the awful things people have to say. I don't know if i'll be able to take it. ...

Pills. I think i'll just take them and end this all. i can't take this shit anymore

The thoughts are back, i thought they had gone away for awhile because i'm on vacation. But no. I want this to end. Im'm such an idiot, i thought i would get better. yeah right. I can't deal with this.

Can i give up now?
Im tired of the bullshit that is my life. Im done giving a shit. I give up.

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Ever since my friend L has started listening to this heavy rock/metal band she's been really depressed, and talking about going 'emo' next year. She has SH'd. She used to be a really energetic and happy person. Im really worried and don't know how to help. Im gone through part of it, but i just can't figure out how to help her. Help?

I really am. i give up. I can't get better, so im not gonna try anymore. Fuck this.

I wish id die.