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Old

A little update! :)

Posted April 28th 2013 at 02:54 AM by Lumos.

Hey everyone its been forever! I might come and check in every once in a while, i miss you guys! <3

So i'm doing pretty good. I think i am recovering for sure now. I feel so much better, stronger, and like nothing can take me down. I have amazing friends who care right now. I'm beginning to see myself as pretty, or at least trying, with the help of my best friend, lets call her S. Who is always there for me. And everything i'd want in a friend. She has helped me so much.
...
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Old

Jan. 27th (trig)(strong language) Private Entry

Posted January 28th 2013 at 04:02 AM by Lumos.

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Old

I'm back (Update trig)

Posted January 14th 2013 at 01:12 AM by Lumos.

So i left for around a month. Just needed some time to myself, and try to feel better myself before i tried to help others. I am still not doing that well, but i missed all you guys, and i feel like maybe helping you guys will help me in some way. So hey everyone!

Update about me:
I'm struggling. a lot... I cut for the first time in 3 months last thursday. i've been feeling low. I'm so disappointed in myself for cutting. i had so many urges that week, i dont know why i gave...
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Old

bye guys

Posted December 18th 2012 at 09:51 PM by Lumos.

hey guys..Well as this thread says i'm going to leave for a while. I just need to figure stuff out. im gonna be on here for a little while today. Sorry guys.

See you (hopefully) in the New year!

Hope you guys are ok. <3
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Old

im not okay. (triggering SH & suicide)

Posted November 15th 2012 at 11:23 PM by Lumos.

This week has been horrible,i've been in such a bad mood. I have snapped at the people I care about. I've been feeling so bad. They've been really understanding though. This has just been at school, at home my parents think im oh so happy and doing good. But no. Im not. My friends are worried about me. At lunch today I just sat there with my head down, I was almost in tears. My friend L, whenever someone asked whats wrong with me, would just say “She's tired”. I was just gonna sit there and not...
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Old

Another Update

Posted November 6th 2012 at 04:26 AM by Lumos.

Well i'm doing ok again. It goes up and down, my moods. i'm happy then depressed, then happy again. Its a never ending cycle for me lately. But at the moment i'm ok. As long as i am at least somewhat happy on Friday or Saturday, i have a big choir thing. I need to have a happy face on. my dad can't even come to it, he's too busy to work and he "low" on money. Yeah right, he only had 20 dollar bills last week..Well my mom is coming, and maybe my grandma.

I have not
...
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Old

<3 (poss trig)

Posted October 18th 2012 at 04:38 AM by Lumos.

Well im doing ok again. I've been going up and down lately.

Right now the reason im happy is because i like someone at my school. Lets call him R. I told one of my friends the other day. Then in like the last day or so, i've been talking to him a lot. R keeps poking me in the ribs, and smiling at me. Then when i was saying bye to him he gave me a hug. I keep wondering if he likes me back. :/

Today marks 3 weeks without Self Harm. I almost relapsed yesterday,...
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Old

Just Give Me a Reason

Posted October 14th 2012 at 03:38 AM by Lumos.

Can i get even 2 days of being happy. i was fine for yesterday. But then today 1 bad thing happens and i feel like complete crap. One thing that most people wouldn't start crying about. I hate this. Hate all of this.

The thing that made me feel awful was 1 person yelling at me. Me and my mother were at a birthday party for her best friends daughter. There was a bunch of kids, i had to watch them all. On of them was driving me crazy, i think his name was Mario. I asked him how old...
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Old

Update(poss triggering)

Posted September 23rd 2012 at 12:34 AM by Lumos.

Well im ok, i think. Been super busy with school. I still have good grades which really surprises me..
I cut again this past week. On my wrist for the first time in like a year, my friend noticed and made me promise not to do it again. The fact that i promised made me want to do it even more.. I think i'll just hide it better.

The last week i have had suicidal thoughts again. I hate how the just randomly come back. I wish they'd just stop. They come as soon as im starting...
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Old

Im done with being strong (trig)(& strong language) Private Entry

Posted August 31st 2012 at 01:03 AM by Lumos.

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