Not pregnant!
Well, I have another test to take when I get back from my trip, just in case I messed up the dates and it was too early for the test. But I'm pretty sure I haven't.

Gonna be at the air port at 5am tomorrow morning. I'm so scared. I'm kind of excited. But I'm more scared. Because he'll be there and I thought maybe we could be civil or even friendly just for the trip but now I know that he actually hates me. :s

I'm going to miss my guinea pig....

i woke up this morning from another dream and in it i was a boy. when i had fully woken up and relized i wasn't a boy i wanted so badly to be a boy that i actully became one. JK i can only wish. but i did relize that i could become boy, but... frist i have to do the most terriefing thing in my life. come out to my friends and my family. i now know the only way to become what i am on the inside on the outside i will have to show the world who i really am. so slowly with very small babysteps i'm...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of dealing with triggers in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US...

I'm really scared. I have this stupid fear that I'm pregnant. I'm on the pill. I've been taking it correctly. I'm pretty sure that I've waited the right amount of time. I'm so scared though. I need to get a test, to put my mind at rest. Because if I am then I'm screwed. He's left me. I can't do it on my own. But I can't be. But I'm so scared that I am. :s I'm probably making it up, aren't I? I can't feel pregnant yet? I shouldn't be able to tell yet unless I use a test. I'm being stupid. But I'm...

I'm tired of letting people walk all over me. I'm just sick of it all. Just because I don't like to pick fights does not give anyone the right to just use me, or act like they can say, do, or treat me/my things in any way without a care!

I don't pick fights because whenever I do I blame myself for doing something wrong, when all I was doing was sticking up for myself for once. That's all I ever tried to do with Cas, and look where it's gotten me? Another therapy, another school where...

I'm tired of crying.
I'm tired of yelling.
I'm tired of being sad.
I'm tired of pretending.
I'm tired of being alone.
I'm tired of being angry.
I'm tired of feeling crazy.
I'm tired of feeling stuck.
I'm tired of needing help.
I'm tired of remembering.
I'm tired of worrying.
I'm tired of being different.
I'm tired of cutting.
I'm tired of missing people.
I'm tired of feeling worthless.
I'm tired of wanting...

For years now I've known I was different. I have always felt there was just something that was weird about me. I thought I had figured it out about two years almost three years ago, I was 12 and I had the biggest crush on this girl and so I told myself I was a lesbian and for about a year I went with it and I felt almost whole for once. Soon the same feelings came back though and I had that gaping hole in me again. I didn't know what to do so I just went on living and telling myself it would get...

At the moment, I'm annoyed at both myself, and a few other people. I'm sorry that I rant so much, but it honestly helps, since I'm too much of a damn coward to actually face the people I'm annoyed at . I don't want conflict and I don't want to be misunderstood, so it's best to forget after ranting.

Like, I'm annoyed at myself because there are people that I can't say no to. I don't know how to say no and then I do things and then sometimes I don't like what I've done and sometimes...

I love the Black Veil Brides.
They have inspired me to embrace who I am, being different and being proud of it, and their lyrics have been my strength and my backbone through so much in my life.

So, I wanted to know; What is your go-to band, and why?

Sometimes I feel so much freer. It's only been a few days but my mood has lifted incredibly, I've been spending more time with my friends, I've been reading more, I've had a couple of ideas for stories that I want to write, I've been enjoying my classes more... It can't just be a coincidence....

But other times I feel so guilty. It's my fault everything went wrong. I should still be with him. I should be changing myself, trying to fix things, trying to make him happy.
...